In Your Shadow
by Dysis Nyx
Summary: read and review Achilles has been training Patroclus for a long time and the time is drawing near for the boy to be considered a man. As the time draws near, so does the truth about how Achilles feels. While, Patroclus struggles to come into his own name.
1. Chapter 1

Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Notes: Okay, so here is my second fanfic story. Um, this is the struggle between two men to find out their true feelings and one of them struggling to find his place in manhood. I think this is a future awesome fanfic. Kinda nervous about it, but enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from "Troy"…not even Patroclus. I know, no matter how cute he is, he is not mine so don't bother asking to borrow him.

Patroclus first arrives to the home of Peleus after his parents have died

Achilles stared at the younger boy in front of him. His name was Patroclus and he was his...cousin. By the word from Achilles' father, he was to live with them from now on.

How pathetic! He wasn't that scrawny, but then he wasn't as toned as Achilles himself was. The sense of loss was quite clear in the boy's eyes. Which it should have been since the boy recently was recently orphaned. How could his father dare to put such a straggly thing in his charge? Achilles' would die of embarrassment from having this child follow him around.

Patroclus stared up at the older boy for a second, because he was too intimidating to examine any longer than that. He was older than him, but not like decades, yet not a few years either. Though the age range Patroclus saw every last bit of strength in Achilles. This was no boy, even at his age Patroclus knew Achilles was a man. Through his parents he had heard many tales of Achilles. He loved to have his father speak of Achilles and the things he was capable of. When he was orphaned and told he would be sent to Peleus and Thetis, he felt fortunate to be near his cousin the great Achilles. Now, though, he felt small and insignificant under his cousin's gaze. What was he to do? What made him think they could form a friendship when he couldn't even look the man in the face?

Achilles sneered at the boy a grumbled loudly to his father "You wish me to look after this child?"

Peleus laughed and slapped his son hard on the back "I wouldn't make it sound a trial, Achilles! I have been told of his potential by many. That is why he is now your responsibility. You can train him when you feel he is ready."

"If it your wish, father, then let it be done." those were Achilles' last words as he stalked off.

Patroclus was close on his heels. When he finally found his voice he muttered "It is a pleasure to be-"

His words were quickly cut off by a look so heated by Achilles that Patroclus' skin would melt off. When Achilles spoke Patroclus felt illuminated, "Patroclus, have you any training as a soldier? If not, you will join the classes by Aetos tomorrow. I will watch in and see how well you move. Clear?"

Never in his years had Patroclus been treated so much like a inferior. This was not a choice of his. It was clear that everything was up to Achilles, but for some reason Patroclus cared not. For some strange reason, Patroclus was not bothered being the subordinate to Achilles. It was clear that Achilles was something great.

Both men walked to their noon meal together. Patroclus was always one step behind Achilles' pensive, angry step. So much excellence and yet still so odious. He truly was the lion that his training had prepared him for.

When they arrived in the open hall Achilles immediately sat at a table with his father but at the very end.

"You do not have to sit at this side of the table with me, Patroclus. This is my choice to sit at a distance from my father." Achilles said the words with a quiet pride.

As the younger boy leaned in next to him Patroclus whispered "It is my honor to share your rebellion, cousin."

For some reason Achilles allowed the child to sit down next to him. For the life of him, he did not know why.

No, not child.

Young man.

In his heart he saw a great bond between them in the future. He didn't know what told him this, but something deep inside him told him.

That entire night the two men talked about everything and nothing.

-next morning-

Patroclus was trying so hard to beat the bigger boy in Aetos' lesson. It was so hard to knowing that the boy, Bastiaan, was almost twice his side. But he had to do it. Achilles had been standing on the outskirts talking with Aetos.

Aetos was an old man and a very close friend of Peleus. He was overweight and walked with a gimp. He was loud, smelled of wine, and would beat you violently with a stick. Patroclus hated him.

Achilles leaned in close with Aetos and gestured gruffly to Patroclus "How does he fare? Patroclus, I mean."

"I hate to tell you this, Achilles. The lad has much potential, but he is weak. It appears as though he is trying to move similar to you. He is ungainly, blundering, and high-spirited. He will never be a soldier. He has in his sights to be a soft-hearted fool!"

"A young lion cub is also ungainly, blundering, and high-spirited. And all cubs become lions one day."

On that note Achilles stalked off past the other battling boys. Both Patroclus and Bastiaan stopped in the midst of their battle and stood facing Achilles. Both boys just waited for Achilles to say something. So, when he did they relaxed "Neither one of you will make good soldiers at this rate. You use your size against your opponent, Bastiaan. And you, Patroclus, you are trying so hard to overpower a boulder when you are merely a pebble."

"I should think you do the same, cousin. I saw your practice this morning and you did the very same thing."

Achilles' eyes narrowed, but sparkled with amusement "Do you wish to take me on, cousin?"

Without another word Patroclus got in position. Achilles had one thought; This boy is arrogant.

And so they started.

And then they ended.

The battle did not last long because as soon as it started Achilles unweaponed Patroclus and knocked the boy to his stomach. With a foot on his back Achilles' whispered for Patroclus' ears only "Know your place, cousin."

Without a moment's warning Patroclus rolled onto his back. His eyes staring right into Achilles' eyes. His voice was exasperated and hoarse "And where is my place, cousin?"

By the boy's eyes, Achilles saw a heavy pain and grief. It struck Achilles with silence. No person had ever struck Achilles' sympathy, but for some reason this mere child broke through all his barriers. He knew he was great and that no one in this world was possibly a worthy opponent. So, with that said Achilles' cared not to waste his time with such people. Then there was this child. He was helpless, he was alone, he was weak. And yet, Achilles' cared.

Offering his hand out he helped Patroclus to his feet. "Come! Walk with me, Patroclus."

"Yes, Achilles" was all the boy said as he followed.

Achilles led him to a ruined open structure that overlooked to sea. To Achilles it was the best training ground in Phtia, Greece. This structure must resembled the modern day Stone Henge. Its tan columns were completely worn. A few desert plants and bushes grew on the sides of the open structure. This was Achilles' sanctuary. He stood in the middle and soaked it in.

While Patroclus stood on the outskirts of it, he slowly approached Achilles. The man seemed to revel in it all. Then he was thrown off by the older one's voice.

"Patroclus, do you wish to be a soldier? A warrior like myself?"

"I wish to be great like you, Achilles."

This drew a silence from the golden warrior. Finally when Achilles spoke he looked directly into Patroclus' eyes. "I will teach you, Patroclus. You will obey me and no one else. Your orders will come from me and no higher. You will be a soldier for me and no other. I am your king, no one else."

Patroclus lowered himself to one knee, but never taking his eyes off Achilles. Almost as if he was in a trance. "Understood, my lord."

\up-to-date (three days before Odysseus sails out to Troy)/

Swords clanged together, muscles tightened, and arms thrust in lunges these were the games of Achilles and Patroclus by the daily the two practiced.

Achilles managed to back Patroclus slowly up the stairs He even scared the boy enough to give a pause to scratch his back. Although he wasn't fighting to his full potential. Just as he was becoming comfortably Patroclus thrust his game sword forward causing Achilles' to block it.

He knew Patroclus would have made it if he hadn't hesitated to stab him. The boy seemed to be hesitating more lately. They had been training for awhile now, but as Patroclus grew in talent, he hesitated to stab more and more. Maybe it was because Patroclus was older and understood what fighting meant if he won. Death.

"Never hesitate."

Damn. Patroclus thought. Achilles had seen his hesitation again. He could only hope that he didn't know why he hesitated. Patroclus knew these were only play swords, but still the thought of hurting Achilles killed him. Could he possibly guess? What would happen if he did? Patroclus thought again.

Oh well, he really didn't care. After all, he was training with Achilles, but how far would his training take him?

Patroclus stepped off one of the columns with Achilles hot on his trail. They raced around to fighting practice ruins as they had done since Patroclus first came to be Achilles'

student.

The pounding of hooves could be heard in the distance, but neither Patroclus nor Achilles paid them any mind. No one dared to interrupt their training sessions. The last man that tried was a messenger from Peleus to Achilles, the man took a sword to the rib from Achilles.

One thing Patroclus knew about Achilles was that he hated to be ordered around. The only person who dared to suggest anything in the slightest order way or take a wrong tone was himself. Patroclus dared to do a many great liberties, because of the bond they shared.

Finally, Achilles caught up to Patroclus, but he turned it around on Achilles. The running defensive switched to a swinging offensive.

Damn! Achilles thought, that was a good swing. Not bad. The boy is gaining a talent with the sword. Dodging the sword as it flew over his head. Patroclus' swing had been seen, but Achilles was still shocked by his skill as he handled the sword. Now Achilles was back onto defensive while Patroclus attacked.

They very rarely never enjoyed these lessons. Patroclus seemed to be growing into a man and a soldier more every day. The thought scared Achilles and fear was an unknown feeling to him. He feared no man, no woman, no god or goddess. He was Achilles and he was fearless.

As he would always tell himself this, the thought of Patroclus lying dying crept back into Achilles' worst nightmares. Losing the boy meant losing what little humanity he had.

Slightly distracted Achilles' blocked every one of the boy's attacks. When Patroclus pinned his sword, he teased, "Nervous?"

A smile crept at Achilles' lips. No one dared to mock him without paying a high price. Yet this child always seemed to irk his final nerve. Here he was again, testing Achilles.

The wooden sword played dangerously on Patroclus' throat, "Petrified."

The words were more of a game, then a challenge. Their banter was always friendly nothing ever harmful.

When Achilles' sword was defended back by Patroclus, the boy advanced again on him. The fight was proceeding with tremendous skill and stamina. The boy was getting better. Perhaps it was due time to end the lesson. It was best to throw the boy off.

Switching the hand his sword was in Achilles pinned the sword again to his cousin's neck. The boy caught his jest and teased him on it.

As their fight progressed the horses still proceeded. Achilles finally ended it and kicked the sword away from Patroclus.

Stalking over to the pile of weapons, Achilles took hold of one of the spears and hurled it. No one dared to interrupt or trespass during lessons. Patroclus was his responsibility and if he was training him, then he had a say and only him. No one interfered...no one.

Then the men approached. It was Odysseus, the eking of Ithaca. What a bother.

The only man he respected of the hierarchy of Greeks. The man's soldiers stayed behind, while Odysseus came forward. He held his helmet under his arm as he approached. Achilles knew the man came with a recruiting mission. Why could he not escape that bothersome king? He took orders from no man and did as he pleased.

Patroclus watched the foreign man come toward him and Achilles. Since Achilles had not harmed the man at all, then he must be very close with Achilles. Then Achilles stabbed one of the fake swords in his back and shoved him forward.

Then he introduced Patroclus to...Odysseus, king of Ithaca.

Oh, this was the great king that Achilles had mentioned and whose name men both revered and feared, not as much as Achilles, but there was no man who was feared as Achilles was.

Patroclus watched as the two men drew away from him. They were conversing something. Odysseus talked of a war and that foolish king Agamemnon was mentioned. Slowly, Achilles was becoming bothered by Odysseus. This conversation was bound to put Achilles in a bad mood.

Ah! An idea struck Patroclus. He would get Achilles distracted and play with him to make him happy again. So, Patroclus launched towards Achilles with a practice sword. Achilles quickly blocked him. So, Patroclus continued to fight...and Achilles continued to block him. When Achilles finally struck him, Patroclus was punished with a spank to his rear with Achilles' own practice sword.

It was clear Achilles was engulfed in this conversation as much as he tried to feign disinterest in the war. Why Achilles was so frustrating when it came to fighting, Patroclus did not know. It was as if war and fighting were all he lived for and yet the two still bored him.

When Achilles refused to join Odysseus, the king turned his attention to Patroclus.

The king wanted his sword arm? The thought someone thought he was good enough to fight and was ready made Patroclus' heart leap. Finally, someone acknowledged his sword arm and strength. He had gotten bigger, faster, stronger with Achilles' training him. Yet, the man proved to think him still a child.

Before Patroclus could say anything, Achilles stopped him. What? Patroclus was fully prepared to fight! The thought that Achilles had degraded him in front of a king upset Patroclus beyond reason. The man was insufferable!

After King Odysseus had left Achilles bellowed, "Patroclus! Load the equipment on the horses. We ride out."

"Yes, my lord." was the only reply Patroclus uttered. Normally he would reply light and happy with Achilles, but not now.

Patroclus was mad and Achilles knew it. The boy wasn't as happy as usual. There was something raging deep inside Patroclus. Achilles grabbed the boy's wrist and turned him to face him, "Patroclus, what bothers you?"

Patroclus snapped angrily, "I am not a child, Achilles!"

So, that is what was bothering Patroclus. He wanted to be treated like a man to Achilles. Trying to keep control Achilles said, "I know..." he had to tell him and Achilles knew it, he continued, "...that is what frightens me most."

Patroclus cast him a doubtful look and laughed humorlessly, "The great Achilles fears nothing."

Now he was patronizing his reasons. Achilles could almost strangle the boy. His words were a loud growl, "That is what makes it so bad!"

If Patroclus fought, then Achilles would no longer be fearless. He would be all he worried about. His mind would constantly be thinking if he was all right or if he was dead.

The mention of the word infuriated Achilles. His fist pounded into one of the nearby columns. Patroclus would not die and Achilles' weakness for the boy would not be exposed.

The mention of the topic was infuriating Achilles. Patroclus was foolish for not seeing his reasons. He was foolish for thinking he was invincible in all aspects. This boy was his one and only weakness. If any man caught a glimpse of how important the boy was, Achilles would kill him. No harm would ever come to Patroclus. This Achilles vowed.

Turning to walk away, Achilles barked, "Get the horses ready and packed! We go see my mother."

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: I have no idea what to write in this space. I feel an odd obligation to just because I can. Oh well, move on reading, I guess shrugs

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Troy" characters, while I do agree with those delicious outfits the men wear. growls playfully

continued

Waiting by with the horses, Patroclus sat and waited as patient as possible. Achilles had been upset with him the entire way, but that was okay since Patroclus was mad at Achilles, too.

Letting out a huge sigh, Patroclus knew he was lying to himself. It wasn't Achilles he was mad at now. It was himself. No matter how hard he trained, he was always a child, a boy, practically a baby to Achilles. He wanted to prove himself just as the Myrmidons did every time they fought in Achilles' name. He was older now and far more mature, but he was still a boy to Achilles. Would anything ever change?

Achilles fiddled around in the water as his mother lay at his feet his choice. Glory or life? To be remembered or to live on with a family? This was his choice and, sadly, he already knew the answer.

When he started to move away to leave his mother called out, "Achilles, son, the boy will die."

Catching his attention, Achilles turned back towards his mother. With his brow raised he watched her warily. Her voice explained tenderly, "If your cousin fights, he will die. His own blood will be the only thing to warm him as he dies, because you couldn't protect him."

Achilles took a deadly step towards his mother and shouted, "Lies! Patroclus will never fight. I will not allow it! If he does not fight, then he does not die. Patroclus will never know war and I will see to it."

A soothing hand cupped his cheek, "Oh, my son, you may hold your fate, but his is not your choice. If you go to Troy, he will follow you and he will fight." she gave a small nymph laugh and added, "No matter what words you use, Patroclus will follow blindly to Troy."

Sighing in defeat, Achilles' shoulders relaxed as he muttered, "I know, mother, but I will not allow him to die in battle. He will stay by my side, but not in battle."

Turning to collect more shells, Thetis turned away from her son and said, "Bend your way to home, I will follow along shortly. Your companion is growing very restless."

Casting his mother a kiss to the cheek Achilles left back to where Patroclus waited with the horses and equipment. His mother was correct, the minute his face was seen by Patroclus, his face lit up. The lad had been waiting impatiently since he left. At the sight of him, Patroclus had brightened up.

Patroclus asked indifferently, "To your father's house now?"

Achilles laughed as he mounted his steed, "Your indifference was dropped when your eyes lit at my presence. Drop the act, Patroclus."

When Patroclus looked to the ground Achilles knew there was something seriously bothering him. A small pang swept through Achilles at the sight of Patroclus so upset. It rendered him completely paralyzed. His voice turned cold as he hid any sound of emotion or feeling, "What bothers you, boy?"

Patroclus kept his gaze down as he explained, "I am nothing to you, Achilles. I am forever useless and a burden. It has been that way since I was put under your watch. No matter how I train and practice, I am still a child to you. I want to be a man in your eyes, not a boy."

The words of Patroclus kept Achilles paralyzed, but he lost control of his tongue, "It is true that I have held your hand through these past years training you. But to say you are nothing? You, Patroclus, are the remaining humanity I have left."

Letting out a scoff, Patroclus asked doubtfully, "What does that mean? I am your amusement? The monkey to laugh at? The small child to train?" Patroclus continued with a mutter, "I am not even counted as your friend, just cousin."

Achilles stopped his horse and grabbed the reins of Patroclus'. His words were a controlled angry, "You insult me, Patroclus. You are acting like a spoiled child. I will not have such disobedience. All I have done is to protect you, to help you."

"I did not mean to insult, my lord."

Achilles flung the reins back at the boy and snarled, "You spat at me, boy! Your words were venom. No more talk!"

Achilles dug his heels into the horse's sides and rode on ahead.

Sometimes Patroclus didn't know what to make of his cousin. The man was very stoic and proud warrior. What did one make of that? Usually Achilles and him never fought, but there was something coming in the next days that Patroclus sensed would change both of them forever.

Kicking his own horse, Patroclus caught up to Achilles. They rode side by side and Patroclus asked, "What did your mother have to say?"

Achilles let out the anger in one breath and answered, "If I stay, I will have a wife with children, but I will be forgotten. If I go to Troy I will be glorified for ages to come, but I will never return." turning to Patroclus and asked, "What would you do, cousin?"

"I would go to Troy. You deserve to be remembered, Achilles. Capture glory, Achilles. Plus, the great Achilles is invincible. There is no weakness in you."

Achilles gave an indignant laugh as he countered, "I have, but one. No one will learn of it, though."

Patroclus' brow perked up in interest as he prepared to ask, "Can you not tell me, cousin? You know I could never bring harm onto you."

Achilles gave him a droll stared and replied bored, "Patroclus, I once thought you a simple flea not fit for dogs. Now, if any man was to cause you harm, I would have his head."

By the flash of anger at the end of Achilles' words, Patroclus knew he was dead serious. Never had Patroclus seen such a look of death cast toward him. The look wasn't meant for him, but it was still cast in his direction. There was no lie in Achilles.

Patroclus tried to lighten the mood with joking, "If we do go to Troy, do you think there will be many pretty women there to satisfy our--"

Achilles held up a hand and chided, "First, you are to young for a woman. Second, we are going to war, not on a day of rest. Third, who said you would be coming?"

Now severely worried over leaving Achilles' side Patroclus defended, "I am to stay? I will go, cousin. I will not remain, Achilles. I am to serve you!"

Luckily, they had reached the home before anymore was said. Slaves came to take the horses. Both men headed into the house. Seeing Patroclus slightly peeved at him, Achilles placed his arm around the boy's shoulders. He leaned to whisper in his ear, "I do no think I could have you stay behind anyway. I have grown accustomed to seeing your face."

Patroclus elbowed Achilles side, but the arm didn't remove itself. Suddenly jovial Patroclus added, "Yes, however would the mighty Achilles go on without the ability to call out 'Patroclus!' and have no one to come within seconds?"

Achilles smiled, "Minutes, even. I fear it would be chaos."

When they arrived to the dining area. Peleus gave Achilles an angry glare as he waited for him to sit.   
As dinner dragged on, Achilles and Patroclus sat in there usual place at the farthest end of Peleus' table. They joked and talked throughout dinner. It was an extremely happy dinner until Peleus called out suddenly, "Achilles! When will that boy be ready to serve as a soldier? He has proved to be nothing but useless. His training should be completed soon, yes?"

Rising to his feet, Achilles answered stoically, "No, father, he will not. Patroclus is a good student, but he is still too young."

Peleus gave a short laugh, "Ha! Give up, Achilles, the boy will never be you. He will make a good foot soldier, though. Finish up his training immediately."

With that the man went back to his other company and dinner. While nothing was right between Achilles and Patroclus anymore. Achilles could see the boy's embarrassment. Peleus had humiliated Patroclus in front of the entire room.

When Achilles attempted to go back to his food, he saw Patroclus rise to his feet and storm out. He was growing restless and Achilles could have spotted that even if he was blind. Patroclus was coming of age and he was very much a man.

Deciding to follow after him, Achilles rose to his feet and exited out of the same door Patroclus had taken.

He found the lad stalking of to his room. Following him from behind, Achilles noticed how unchildlike Patroclus was now. He was nearly as tall as him. His build was only slightly smaller than Achilles' own muscles. The boy's hair grew to his shoulders in brown tresses and hung loose. He had earned no braids yet, unlike Achilles' golden blonde locks.

Feeling a warming of his muscles, Achilles called out, "Patroclus! Did I give you permission to leave?"

Watching as Patroclus stopped, but didn't turn around Achilles prepared for the boy's scorn. Instead, his words were controlled while angry and humiliated, "I do not expect to be as great as you, cousin. You will be great and glorified. My name will never be remembered. I am only the cousin to Achilles, I am forever trapped in your shadow. You keep me there! I fear I will always be a soldier in training. Will I ever be a man to you, Achilles?"

His mind escaped him as Achilles forced Patroclus into his room. For some reason, Achilles' brain had shut off and decided not to work. One look to Patroclus' face and now he was gone. Even his words were not his own, "I will remember you, Patroclus. Your name will always be mentioned whenever mine has been uttered."

On that he placed his hands on either side of the boy's face and kissed him with so much passion. There was a heat there and Achilles could not have stopped for his life. This was just one kiss, but his gut told him more was to follow.

to be continued


	3. Chapter 3

PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Notes: I really am becoming quite fond of this fanfic. I like looking back and seeing just how different the other character relationships are in the different fanfics. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and give a full reviewing report. I have many new twists and turns planned out. So, keep on reading.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Troy" characters. I wish I did, but alas I do not. heavy sigh

Pinned against the door in Achilles' room Patroclus stared at the golden man with confusion. They had just shared one of the most passionate kisses Patroclus had ever experienced in his life...with a man who was his cousin no doubt. What was this? He had never encountered something like this in his life. The truth was he did love Achilles with all his heart, but what kind of love was it?

Now staring into the void eyes, Patroclus sensed that Achilles was not in control this time. The mind of the man had relinquished power to the body. Maybe he should do the same?

With that Patroclus released all thoughts from his mind and let his body take over. Instinctively Patroclus' arms wrapped around Achilles' neck and kissed his lips. Then Achilles' arms traveled from Patroclus' wrists to around his waist. He, too, deepened the kiss.

While their lips tangled with their tongues and their arms clung for all passion, it was their legs who were ignored. The legs began to move without any attention being paid to them. Slowly, but desperately moving over to the bed, Achilles and Patroclus toppled onto it.

Breathing heavy, Achilles looked down into Patroclus' eyes and simply stared. At that moment, both men knew what was to come next. If they didn't stop now they knew what was going to happen. A silent consent lit into Patroclus' eyes and Achilles leaned down and claimed the lips of Patroclus with a fierce passion.

The night was far from over and neither one wanted to see the sun rise...at least not at this moment. Tomorrow they knew would be a different story. Tomorrow everything would be new and frightening.

just after sunrise

Achilles woke up from sleeping stark naked on his stomach. This was a feeling he was used to. Since every night this was his particular activity. Instead, of a feminine arm, or two, wrapped around him, there was nothing. Opening his eyes, Achilles noticed no one next him.

_A dream?_, Achilles' thoughts panicked.

Propping himself up on one arm, Achilles looked to the end of the bed and finally saw Patroclus. The boy was sitting with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. The masculine chin was resting at the tops of the knees, while the face was stern with contemplation.

_So, it isn't a dream_, Achilles thought, _While_ _that is good, Patroclus looks less than pleased_. Steadily, Achilles moved to the end of the bed. His hand reached and gently squeezed the back of Patroclus' neck. It was a gesture he had done many times before. Perhaps the boy would have appreciated something like that at this time.

The words came from nowhere as Patroclus murmured quietly, "Achilles...? What do I--what do we do about last night?"

Getting up from the bed, Achilles shrugged off the question and answered, "Nothing. We act as if nothing has happened. From where I stand nothing has changed."

_What! Nothing!_, Patroclus thought as he shot to his feet in anger and surprise. He could hardly believe his ears as Achilles dressed. This morning was like any other for Achilles, but for Patroclus it was so very different. The evening was more important than what Achilles was making it.

This was something Patroclus was new to this whole experience. How was he to know that one shouldn't involve feelings into it? The more he looked into it, the more anger brewed inside of him. Wrapping some of the nearest clothes around himself, Patroclus strode towards the door. A fist tightened around his upper arm and stopped him. Achilles' voice said, "You were not excused from the room, Patroclus, by your commanding officer."

Yanking his arm out from Achilles' hold, Patroclus was feeling how he had never felt. New emotions were running rampant in his body.

A spark flared in Patroclus' eyes, one that Achilles had never seen before. This look was pure, unbridled, passionate...hatred. The boy was a man standing in front of him loathing him. Patroclus had never looked so dangerous and so adult,...and so sad. With his stomach twisting inside of him, Achilles said nothing.

Patroclus let it all out with a strong, angry control, "I am through, Achilles! I am no longer a child. We have killed it. We slaughtered any bond we had together with..._last night_. Worst of all, I used to hold a respect for a man who I thought was above all the greatest in all of Greece, possibly the world."

Achilles' voice was low and firm as he asked, "Now?"

Without hesitation Patroclus answered, "I only see a selfish, flesh-lusting, blood-feasting mortal. I say mortal, because no man could have killed the great Achilles. Now you are simply Achilles, my _cousin_."

The words Patroclus had just said would be death to a lesser man, or even a greater one, but this was Patroclus. In his heart, Achilles knew he could no more harm Patroclus than he could wake a dead man. While many emotions coursed through his veins, none knew what to do. Patroclus turned to leave the room and Achilles stood there with fists on either side of him.

Outside in the hall, Patroclus stormed through the passages. Patroclus had last cried when he was a baby. When his parents died, he was an angry sad, so there were no tears. Now Patroclus had lost the one man he held dearer than his own life. Achilles was a god to him, not now though. Now Achilles was a man with a love only for himself.

Tears were forming in his eyes as the sense of pain came back. Betrayed, immoral, lecherous, and callous all things running through Patroclus. All emotions behind the oncoming tears. They had not fallen yet, but sooner or later they would come. Men didn't cry, real men never cried. That added to Patroclus hating both himself and Achilles.

"Patroclus! Turn around, boy!" the voice of Peleus called from behind.

Turning around Patroclus faced his uncle with patience. He knew his face was pale and his eyes were red. What Patroclus didn't know is what his uncle would think.

The man approached with long, slow strides. There was a smile on Peleus' face as he opened his arms to Patroclus. Giving him a quick embrace, Peleus placed an arm around Patroclus' shoulders and continued down the hall.

As they walked Patroclus listened to his uncle talk and that was a past-time his uncle loved best. Peleus found an odd joy in listening to himself speak.

His voice boomed cheerfully, "Patroclus, I had a thought that maybe if you spend the day with some of the hardened Mrymidons, then you could see real men. All you ever see all day is servants, me, and Achilles. While, I know my son is strong and powerful, he is not an entire race of men. To get an idea of real men one must spend time with large groups of them. Also, I would like to see you battle my proudest warrior, Ajax. He may not be Achilles, or even the Trojan Hector, but he is one of the best. If you can give him a decent fight, I shall make you a Myrmidon. Achilles is my son, so he shall abide by my orders. What say you?"

To go over Achilles' head on something. To go over his orders to a higher power. While it gave him a strange delight, there was a sense of him betraying Achilles. He had promised to Achilles that he would only take orders from him. Patroclus lowered his head and answered, "I would be honored, uncle."

Slapping his back, Peleus led him to the practice grounds outside of the villa. His voice boomed even louder, "Good! Ajax awaits! Let us go to a fight."

After Achilles had sent the messenger to Eudorus to collect the men. In the message he explained how they would go to Troy with Odysseus. The decision was made and they would leave tomorrow for Troy. Now to find Patroclus and continue his training. This morning would be forgotten and they would go on as if nothing happened.

Walking out in the open outside hallways Achilles heard a ruckus coming from below. He looked over the side of the banister to see Ajax with a sword in one hand, his sheild on the other hand and a helmet on his head. The man appeared to be facing off with another. With Ajax's back to him, Achilles could not see the other soldier. The swords were real, but their was an audience to this fight, so it was merely a battle for fun. Achilles leaned against the banister looking on below to watch the fight.

His interest was peaked since Ajax was the biggest man in Phtia and no one, besides Achilles, would dare fight him. He gave a small chuckle to the idiot who thought to challenge Ajax. For anyone in Phtia, besides Achilles, Ajax would crush with his strong sword arm and his towering size. He was a proud and skilled warrior. Only reason why Achilles would never trust him was because he was his father's favorite soldier.

Achilles muttered as Ajax swung his sword, "The idiot! Who would be so foolish? Idiot..."

With a dodge to the right, Achilles got a full glimpse of the other fighter. _Hey, That's my idiot!_, Achilles thought.

Sure enough, Patroclus was fighting Ajax with a sword and sheild, but no helmet. How could Patroclus be so stupid as to not use a helmet? Then again, how could he be so stupid as to fight Ajax?

Rushing to where the audience gathered Achilles started to make his way towards the fight as close as he could muster. Right before he reached them, a hand grabbed his arm. Looking back, Achilles saw the disapproving face of his father.

Achilles walked with his father on the outskirts of the gathering audience. All Achilles wanted to do was stop this fight before Patroclus got hurt or worse.

With that thought Achilles growled at his father, "What is the meaning of this? The boy is in my charge."

Nodding in agreement, Peleus stated in a matter-of-fact manner, "Yes, that is true. I felt that the lad needed some encouragement. At first, I thought to make him a point in a fight he could not win, but now...Well, my boy you have trained him well. I watched his movements with surprise. That is fair fight he is giving Ajax. No harm will come to him, so do not worry. Ajax knows not to seriously harm Patroclus."

Realizing it was all a ruse of his father's Achilles asked with loathing, "How did you lure him into this foolish game?'

Laughing at his own genius, Peleus answered, "I tricked the boy into thinking I would make him into a full Myrmidon. While, he is ready, I would never make that soft-heart into a soldier of mine. He would disgrace me!"

Before Achilles could say anything to his father more, applause and cheers rang out from the audience. Both Peleus and Achilles turned to see Patroclus had lost to Ajax. the boy was now angrily retreating from the arena with a vengeance.

Growling low in throat, Achilles snapped, "That is the second time you have disgraced him, father."

Peleus laughed, "It is good for him! Plus, why should you care? You only care for yourself, Achilles. Maybe that mother of your's, too."

Storming off to go after Patroclus, Achilles left his father without another word.

-hours later at dusk-

Finally, after searching long enough Achilles found Patroclus. He had been searching since the fight between Ajax and Patroclus. When he found him he was hanging with some of the other Myrmidons and their wenches. Only Patroclus and Eudorus stood on the side.

While the other soldiers were completely drunk and were laying sloppy kisses on their wenches. Eudorus was completely in charge of himself and Patroclus at that.

As Achilles approached he thanked, "Many thanks, Eudorus. I have been looking fo rhim for a long time now." Turning to go, Achilles barked over his shoulder, "Come, Patroclus!"

When he heard the boy's footsteps he continiued. When they approached the chariot, Patroclus eyed it suspiciously. As they got in Achilles explained, "It is faster than a single horse with a pack one tied next to it."

They rode on in silence till Achilles said, "Are you proud of yourself, boy? You missed your lesson, you fought a far better soldier than yourself and lost, you tried to leave without any dignity, and you attempted to hang around with the bigger dogs. So, I ask you, are you proud of yourself?"

Staying quiet for a few moments Patroclus finally said, "You forgot 'taking orders from someone other than Achilles'."

Casting a glance back at Patroclus, Achilles scoffed, "So, I did."

Deciding that the air was still heavy around them and that the main reason this all happened was still around, Achilles made a decision. He blew out a sharp breath and addressed, "This morning you claimed we killed what we had. That is not true, Patroclus, and you well know it. There is a bond, a fondness, that we share that cannot be ruined by a simple act. All we did was give into something that was already there. We were sharing are feelings without words."

Crossing his arms, Pataroclus sneered, "Who said there was ever feelings of that sort?"

Achilles pulled on the reins to the chariot and stopped the two horses on such short notice that Patroclus' stomach collided with the chariot. When he stood up he caught a hold of Achilles death stare, "Maybe you don't love me, but you will grow to love me even more as time goes on."

Patroclus lowered his head and muttered, "I was not talking about myself. I guess I am not going to Troy with all my mistakes?"

Smiling evilly Achilles answered, "However would I battle without you there?"

Both would leave for Troy, but neither knew what awaited them over in Troy. The battle for glory and the battle to get out of the shadows still fought and struggled on.

-day of sailing to Troy-

Standing on the ship as the other men loaded it, Patroclus felt his excitement growing. He was almost off to his first battle. This would be the first time he would prove to Achilles he was just as worthy as any of the Myrmidons. All of the others got to prove their loyalty and dedication to Achilles, but he hadn't had his chance yet.

With the new sense of wonder and pride Patroclus looked out at the open sea waiting for them to sail off. Lost in his own thoughts, he jumped when a hand placed on his shoulder.

Turning he faced Achilles who asked, "Excited?"

Patroclus nodded and faced the spacious sea again. His words were a contained excited as he answered dreamily, "This will be my first battle ever, Achilles. I will finally be a soldier."

Without saying a word, Achilles just stood next to him. He would wait to tell Patroclus he wasn't fighting. Why make the trip to Troy a living Hell with Patroclus' disappointment. Plus, at least, Achilles knew now that since he wasn't letting Patroclus fight, then the boy wouldn't die.

Again, that stab at the thought of Patroclus' death. Placing an angry arm around Patroclus' shoulders, "Yes, cousin, we go to Troy. Glory we seek and glory we get."

to be continued


	4. Chapter 4

PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: So, here is the fourth chapter. I love cliffhangers, despite this isn't much of a cliffhanger ending. I really hope you enjoy this, then again, you wouldn't be reading it if you didn't, right?

Disclaimer: I do not…blah, blah, blah,…own any of the…blah, blah,…characters of "Troy". There the required statement so I don't get sued.

A few days at sea and Patroclus was bored. All the other men seemed perfectly content with just being on the ship, whether they were singing, drinking, or even just sitting. They were all content, but not Patroclus. Achilles and Eudorus had both been too busy to give him any suggestions on what to do. The entire time they were planning on what to do when Troy came. Whenever their planning was done, Achilles was too tired and Eudorus would always tell Patroclus to go and find something else to do.

He threw his head back and sighed heavily. By the gods was he bored! All he wanted was something to do. Was that so much to ask? Looking over the side of the ship, Patroclus looked out at the endless ocean. Before the ocean had seemed exciting and fun with its limitless boundaries, not now.

Now the ocean was endless and boring. Patroclus stomped a foot and rested his chin on the side of the boat restlessly. His sleep had become affected, too. He would get so bored he would go to bed quite early, then he would just end up getting up before dawn.

Letting out another breath, decided to give up and go below deck.

By chance, Achilles had looked over at Patroclus and seen the turmoil of the boy. Too well he remembered being that antsy before learning the much needed patience of the trip on a ship. Without looking away for Patroclus, Achilles asked Eudorus, "How long has my cousin been like this, Eudorus?"

No Eudorus looked away from his work to Patroclus. He seemed a little confused before answering, "Just a few days, my lord. The men will not let him help with any work, because he has no experience. The boy has no idea what to do with himself on a ship for this long of time. Perhaps we should have left him back at Phtia with your father?"

Achilles shook his head with his gaze still on Patroclus, "No, that would not have accomplished much, besides an angry Patroclus. No, this I fear is the best solution."

"That still doesn't solve our problem, my lord."

Letting an aggravated sigh out Achilles answered, "No, it doesn't. I will be back, Eudorus."

Walking over to where Patroclus stood, Achilles rested his long, tanned arms on the side of the boat, too. At first he didn't say anything, because he knew Patroclus would.

Sure enough, when Patroclus felt his presence next to him, he jumped back and stood up completely straight. His tone was shocked and clipped as he addressed, "Achilles! I am sorry I was lagging on the job."

Looking around at the sedate boat Achilles smiled, "What job, cousin? I fear you have been quite bored lately."

As if being caught red-handed Patroclus took his place next to Achilles and relaxed in defeat. His look was faraway as he stared out at the endless ocean, "That is not the begining of it, Achilles. No man will let me work, I have nothing to do, I know very few souls well, and I-"

He stopped short and gave a quick look to Achilles before looking back out at the ocean. That really was all Achilles needed. He knew what Patroclus was trying to hide, but cutting himself off. With a heavy laugh, Achilles placed a friendly arm around his shoulders. Looking around Achilles lowered his lips to whisper, "I have missed you, too. Not used to not spending our usual training time together. Now laugh."

Patroclus did as he was told and laughed out loud really hard. When he stopped Achilles continued to whisper with his arm around his shoulders, "I know I have been busy, cousin. I have been neglectful, but this is a war we are going to."

Laughing to himself, Patroclus nudged Achilles in the side and teased, "If your men heard you, then you wouldn't be the stern and stoic soldier they all know. I have heard talk that you hold no emotions."

Achilles cast him a look that reminded Patroclus of the lion spotting his prey. Achilles whispered even quieter, "If they ever heard, all that would come is the head of a cousin of mine."

Smiling Achilles removed his arms from around Patroclus' shoulders and rested them on the side of the ship like Patroclus. His voice became just as serious as the other soldiers knew him. He said in an even tone, "How can you be sure you are ready, Patroclus? For war, that is."

A small chuckle escaped Patroclus as he said, "I serve you, Achilles. There is no other king that I take my orders from besides you. I have to be a good soldier for you, Achilles."

Achilles pushed his hand to fake push the boy's head. He faked a stern order, "Go meet with the other men for dinner. I have work and you distract me."

Patroclus couldn't help it when he watched Achilles walk off. Immediately the man went back to work with Eudorus. Now that he felt better about the trip. Before he knew it, a couple of the other soldiers were approaching him.

One of the older men who was at least a foot shorter than everyone of the other men behind him. The older man patted Patroclus on the shoulder and asked, "Why not join us for a night of sport before you turn in, youngblood?"

The three men were asking him to drink and talk before they went to sleep. This was a fine oppurtunity to establish himself as a new soldier and as a man. He nodded proudly and walked off with them.

Achilles was growing weary of Eudorus' fears, so he dismissed the man and walked about the ship. The open dusk air was very soothing to Achilles. He had killed many men these past years. No regrets, no hesitation, nothing. He had earned his reputation and lived by it. No man dared to question him and no man would ever disrespect him. He was Achilles and he brought hope to whatever side of the battle he was on.

Fear was a foreign foe to Achilles. Never in his life had he ever been afraid of anything. He had no reason to! So why now was the thought of losing Patroclus the only fear in his life. The boy was good. All the people he had met had some tainting quality. There had always been some quality to keep tham tainted enough for Achilles to simply not care a thought about them enough. Not Patroclus, though.

These past years Patroclus had proved himself to be a wonderfully untainted soul. He was good man. Not yet tainted by liquor or women or blood or riches or anything that corrupts men all around. Then again, Achilles himslef had shown Patroclus the wonders of the flesh. That was one aspect the boy was tainted.

Argh! Achilles pounded his fist into the side of the ship and fought the anger brewing inside of him. Patroclus was a old enough now for many things, but not for death and not to take a man's life.

Looking away from the all-knowing sea, Achilles spotted some of his experienced soldiers handing Patroclus a cow-hide flask. No doubt some of their strong wine.

Storming over to the circle of men, Achilles ripped the flask from Patroclus' hands. When the boy looked up at him he barked, "Get yourself on to bed!"

As he started to get up, Achilles didn't wait till he left to punish the other men. His words snarled calmly, "Give yourselves into the demons of the wine, cast your ways not onto my cousin."

When Achilles stalked off, he knew he had taken them by surprise. They had seen Achilles get angry, but never over something so trivial. It would be the talk for days. For some reason, Achilles cared not if they talked. If he wanted, he could easily stop the talk. A simple look could do it for any man who dared open his mouth.

More embarressed than upset, Patroclus lowered his clothing off his shoulders. The wound in his side burned all the way up and down his body. It had started to bleed again. His fight with Ajax had caused him more damage than he told anyone. No one, not even Ajax, knew that the man's sword and stabbed right under Patroclus' ribs.

No matter how he tried to cover the wound, it still bled. The pain of it still burned almost every hour or so. He unwrapped the linen he used and started grab some fresh ones when the doors burst open. Achilles stood there gaping as he gawked at the wound in Patroclus' side.

Then he collected himself and unsheathed his sword, "What man did this? I shall cast him in tenfold what he has done to you."

Patroclus shook his head frantically as he explained, "No man on this boat, Achilles. Ajax had no thought that he even connected this badly. He thought he connected with the leather in my armor."

Letting out all the angry breath, Achilles sat Patroclus on the bed behind him. Achilles walked away to get a small bowl of water and some peices of linen. He knelt before Patroclus and slowly began to cleanse the wound. Watching each moment as Patroclus winced in pain.

He stated calmly, "You never washed this. Why did you not make me aware of this, Patroclus?"

Biting some of the old linens Patroclus' words were muffled as he said, "You would have gotten angry and thought me weak. I wanted to take it like a man."

Achilles continued to washit as he muttered, "Fool, this wound has become raw and putrid. All this for your foolish pride?"

Patroclus lay down on his side as Achilles continued cleansing the wound. When Achilles finally got up, he reached for the bottle of heavy drinking ale. Patroclus knew instantly what he was going to do and he panicked.

Only staring at the bottle now approaching him, Patroclus froze up. The bed sank down next to Achilles as he sat down next to Patroclus and explained, "The wound must be cleaned out completely. I am going to caulderize it next. This is going to be painful, Patroclus, so if you want me to get Eudorus to come and hold you down, I will."

Patroclus shook his head and quietly answered, "No one else can see this, Achilles. I would be shamed."

With that Achilles poured the ale on the screaming wound. Patroclus bucked as soon as it hit the wound. Every speck of dirt he could feel being eaten away at. His stomach dug into the bed as his fists grappled with the sheets. He clung so tight that his knuckles were turning white and he could feel his fingernails through the sheet.

What Patroclus didn't know was how hard this was for Achilles. While Achilles was keeping a straight face, his heart was screaming. No one else could have done this job. He was the only way who could have treated Patroclus, because of the pain the boy was in. Although, Achilles knew what was coming next would be worse than any pain Patroclus had ever experienced.

Getting up from the bed to stick his sword in the fire, Achilles left Patroclus on the bed. The boy had the sheet in his mouth and was digging his teeth into it while the ale slid down his sides and dived into the wound.

The fire slowly turned the blade a burning color, then as time passed it became a light goldish orange and was singing with the fire dancing through it. When Achilles finally pulled it out, he noticed Patroclus refused to look at him. Instead, he was staring straight forward into nothingness.

Achilles took a place behind Patroclus on the bed and whispered, "I do this only to save you. It kills me to have to see you like this, but I have to."

Then he pressed the burning sword to Patroclus' wound and Achilles knew nothing harder.

Patroclus' stomach lurched forward and his back arched as he let out a loud scream. The room went black as he squeezed his eyes shut in pain. The fires of Hades were burning through Patroclus' injury as Achilles pressed the sword down harder. The tears were searing their own path down his cheek as he cried out. His body squirmed to get away from the fire, but two firm arms held him tight to the bed as the burning iron continued. Those mere seconds were centuries passing.

Not daring to open his eyes, Patroclus kept them shut. If he opened them he feared he would see his entire body on fire and the god, Hades, standing there laughing.

Achilles lifted the sword from the wound and held Patroclus. Patroclus kept his eyes closed as he bit his bottom lip. Right now Achilles' heart was breaking for having to do that. The sight of Patroclus screaming and crying as though death was taking him broke his heart and spirit. Finally minutes passed on and Patroclus hushed up and slept.

Placing him on the bed in a more comfortable fashion, Achilles got up. There was another bottle of drinking ale and he reached for it. After witnessing that, he needed a good drink.

Grabbing the bottle, he sat on the bed and began to drink. The sight of Patroclus writhin gin his arms while he screamed out dying was burned into his head. The sound of his screams and cries would forevere haunt him as the sound he caused. Even now he knew that boy would always be his greatest and only fear. How could such an unimportant soul be so important?

Taking a heavy gulp of the strong ale, Achilles tried to drown his aches in the brew. When things seemed to die down, a knock sounded on the door, followed by Eudorus entering.

Eudorus drank in the sight of the bloody linens, the still golden burning sword, a sleeping Patroclus, and a drinking Achilles. When his eyes met the angry pair on Achilles he answered, "I am eternally sorry, my lord, but I heard screams coming from your cousin's cabin."

Achilles' lip raised as he said, "So, you took it upon yourself Eudorus to make sure everything was in it's righted place."

Eudorus met his stare with loyalty, "Yes, my lord, I know if anything happened to the lad you would blame yourself. Is he in good health?"

Achilles now stood and waved the half empty bottle around with his words, "No, Eudorus, he is not in good health! Patroclus has been wounded. I had to clean and caulderize his mutilation myself."

"My lord Achilles, I would have helped, so would have the other men."

Going back towards the bed Achilles gave a humorless laugh, "He would have no one else know of his weakness. No other man on this ship shall know." Achilles cast his lion snarling eyes to Eudorus and asked, "Is that clear, Eudorus?"

Eudorus bowed to Achilles and vowed, "Yes, my lord."

With that the man disappeared again into the dak hallway of the ship to go about his duties. Achilles looked back over to the bed with sullen, focused eyes as he looked over to sleeping Patroclus. Crawling into the bed, too, Achilles slept next to Patroclus.

As he fell asleep he silently vowed, "No harm will come to you. I will make sure of it. Never again will either of us go through what we did tonight. This I promise, Patroclus."

Soon he was falling off to sleep and the funny thing was that he had meant every word of his vow. No matter who he had to battle he would protect Patroclus with his life. If the Fates had a different destiny for the lad, then he would change it. No one would take the last of humanity from him. Patroclus would live! To this he fought for.

to be continued


	5. Chapter 5

-1PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Yeah, so I would love to get reviews from everyone who reads this. I know it seems bothersome and all that lot, but I can't fix what I don't know what is wrong. Although I do love good reviews. It is a very good feeling to know what you guys liked best and what you thought was interesting, or comments on certain situations, things of that sort. To review is a good gift to give me. So, please review, please!

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of the movie "Troy", but I will own Jared Leto...wait, wrong film. I still don't own "Troy".

-day of arriving on the beaches of Troy-

Patroclus awoke with a start as he knew what Achilles had told him yesterday. Today they would fight on the beaches of the great Troy. His heart began to pound as his pulse beat hard beneath his skin. This was his first battle and he would make everyone proud, especially Achilles.

After his night of disgrace he had to make it up to Achilles. He had shamed himself and his good name as a man under Achilles' tutelage. He was haunted by his behavior that night. He had acted like a child over a mere wound.

Slowly Patroclus readied himself for the attack on the Trojan beach. The wind whipped through his hair as he fastened his armor to his body. His own weapons were in front of him and they called to be used. He would make Achilles so proud!

The thought of seeing that private smile lighting in Achilles mind made Patroclus' entire boy sing. So far every night they had spent in each other's company. They never did anything which surprised Patroclus. Achilles seemed content to just know that he was there and alive. Which in itself was a strange thought since why would the great Achilles care for him so deeply. Why would a man so godly care so deeply for an insignificant little child like him? Today he would be a man for the man he loved. The thought struck him strange.

Patroclus knew if his thoughts made a big deal and he acted strange he would draw attention to himself. So, he continued getting ready why he toyed with the idea. He loved Achilles. He really, honestly loved Achilles. With a smile Patroclus looked out at the sea and knew in his heart it was true.

They were approaching the shores of Troy with great speed. The moment was perfect and it brought a smile to Achilles lips. He would win and today would be glorious. Everything was going perfectly till he looked over and saw Patroclus with a shield and spear in his hands.

By the gods! The boy was preparing to fight. Up and until this day, Achilles and put off telling him he would never see battle. Oh well, it was now or never.

Nausea grew in the pit of Achilles stomach at the thought of disappointment lighting those eyes of Patroclus'. Although the thought of him lying dead at Achilles feet was enough to sober, and anger, him up pretty quick. His teeth gritted as he beckoned, "Patroclus!"

The name was sweeter than any wine or woman on Achilles' lips. When had the boy become so important? As usual, within seconds Patroclus was there. Before he could say anything Achilles ordered nonchalantly, "Put down your spear."

Achilles thought it best to shrug it off as nothing instead of it being a big deal. They did not want to attract attention to themselves. Although it was hard for Achilles as Patroclus pleaded, "But today I am fighting the Trojans, cousin."

Achilles tried to cut in with a strong, "Not today."

But it was useless as Patroclus insisted he was ready. The boy was more than persistent and drawing even more attention from the other soldiers. Achilles almost laughed when Patroclus threw at him his own "This is a war" comment. The boy was clever and very adamant about fighting.

With all the gaining attention Achilles tried to think of some lie for the other men's ears. So, he managed to say something about experienced soldiers and them being ready and blood. While the others around them bought it, Patroclus did not. Achilles was getting aggravated and concerned. They were drawing closer and Patroclus was still insistent. He had spoiled the boy.

Achilles finally in the heat of his frustration grabbed the boy and pulled him close to whisper, "Cousin, I can't fight the Trojans if I'm concerned for you. Guard the ship."

Achilles had told him the truth and while Patroclus knew this. He also knew just how selfish a reason it was. He was depriving the boy of his honor and manhood. The thought of his safety satisfied Achilles enough. He watched reluctantly as Patroclus threw his shield and spear towards the edge of the ship walls. How Achilles would hear it tonight from the lad.

Patroclus stalked off to the other side of the ship. He was not fighting? Patroclus was all in a huff as he mad his way to his quarters. Achilles would not let him fight, because he would worry. When he mad it into the room, he slammed the door and let a curse so hateful it surprised him to silence. What was he going to do now? He was supposed to guard the ship. How childish of a task was that? No _man_ guarded a ship!

Falling back onto the bed, Patroclus looked up at the ceiling. The reasoning behind Achilles' logic did make sense. If he was fighting he would have worried about his cousin and then in turn gotten distracted.

Still, looking up at the ceiling Patroclus heard the door open and close. The weight on the be sunk down as Achilles sat down next to Patroclus. Patroclus tried hard not to look at him, but from the corner of his eye Patroclus saw Achilles lean back onto his elbows. The golden man's words were sincere and came out dead serious, "I also cannot fight with the knowledge you are angry at me, Patroclus. We arrive soon and I should be up there. Now tell me you forgive me."

Still staring at the ceiling, Patroclus answered emotionless, "I forgive you, cousin."

Achilles gave a heavy sigh and said, "At least you tried to appease me. Listen, I promise, you will one day be a Myrmidon, but not today and not at Troy. I will not see you die, Patroclus. Do not ask it of me."

Patroclus now couldn't help, but look at Achilles. He turned his head to look him right in the eyes, "Why? So your conscience does not feel bad for not training me hard enough?"

Achilles shook his head and answered, "No, so I do not see the blood on my hands from the one I love most."

Achilles pushed Patroclus over and rose to his feet. He gave him a hard stare and growled, "Now guard the ship, cousin."

Patroclus watched Achilles walk out of the room reluctantly. He wanted to follow him so bad. He wanted to follow Achilles to Hades and back again. He would have crossed the River Styx for him. For now, he would guard the ship.

The ship lurched under Patroclus' feet as they hit the shore. He could hear the battle cry as Achilles and his men went into battle. From his place in the room he could hear the singing of arrows and the retched screams as they hit his fellow Greeks. Patroclus began to pace uncontrollably as the sounds of war rung in his ears with an unrelenting pace. Men were dying and fighting, Achilles was fighting, and he, Patroclus, sat in the safety of this room guarding the ship. Finally unable to take anymore he threw open the door to the room and stalked into the hall. He made his way up to the deck. When he looked over the side he saw Achilles and his men in the dreaded phalanx position. All the shields huddled together and the occasional archers poking through. There were corpses of the Myrmidons occasional strewn across the sand, but so was the same for Trojans. His fingers itched to toss his spear at the men and leap over the side to fight, but he knew Achilles would be cross.

Still angry, more with himself, Patroclus stormed back down below the deck. He paced in the hall as he waited and waited. Hours passed and finally the sound of victory resounded. Patroclus was like a puppy and ran up the stairs.

When he reached the side of the deck he lept over the side. He crossed the sand with importance. He had to find Achilles, he had to see him. Had to know that Achilles was all right and uninjured. When he spotted him in the distance Achilles was approaching. So, light as Hermes sandals, Patroclus walked over to Achilles. The minute he came into Achilles view, the man opened his arms to him. Clearly, he could not show his excitement to see Patroclus in public, so Patroclus bit down his disappointment. Oh well, as soon as they made it back to Achilles' quarters, they would embrace and Patroclus would tell Achilles just how happy he was that Achilles was alive.

Patroclus bit back the small sense of victory as Achilles put is arm around him as they followed Eudorus. The man said he had something to show Achilles, but what?

As they walked to the small hut Achilles would temporarily call home. Patroclus had a bad feeling about what was inside that tent.

Eudorus lifted the opening for Achilles, but before Patroclus went in Eudorus stopped him. Patroclus heard Eudorus say something to Achilles before he faced Patroclus again. The man led him away and said, "Take a walk. Achilles will want to be alone for this."

Passing him Patroclus stood there in stunned silence. Oh yes, they had found Achilles a woman. This should not have bothered Patroclus. Achilles found woman all the time. After he found them, he lost them all over again. Women were a passing fancy to Achilles. This girl was a passing amusement.

Stationing himself within calling distance Patroclus amused himself with his surroundings. After a awhile Achilles and Eudorus emerged from the tent. There was no girl with them. As Achilles passed he got hold of Patroclus and said, "Watch Briseis, cousin."

She had a name now? Patroclus stared at Achilles' back as it walked away from him. His women never had names.

Now he had to see her! Patroclus went into Achilles' hut and found the girl huddled on the floor. She stared up at him with large doe-like eyes. Her long curly dark brown hair hung around her face and she looked as though she had been slightly beaten. Her clothes which probably were once tasteful and dashing, were now tattered and torn. She looked like a princess who had been dragged through the mud and sold into slavery. And now Patroclus hated her.

Just by looking in her eyes, Patroclus knew she already meant something to Achilles. He grabbed the nearest plate of food he could find and set it in front of her. When she tentatively began to eat, Patroclus sat squatted in front of her. He watched her the entire time.

When he was least expecting she said, "My name is Briseis and I am cousin to Hector. If you release me, then-"

Before anymore could be said, Patroclus snapped dutifully, "I am Patroclus, cousin to Achilles. There will be no escape till he says so."

Briseis began to give him a strange look and before Patroclus knew it he felt little and insignificant. Her lips began to move and sure enough, Patroclus heard the words, "It must be hard to live under that name. If you were to take me back to Troy you would be a revered soldier. Hector would train you himself."

The girl was begging him to escape Achilles and as much as he wanted her gone, Patroclus knew how angry Achilles would be. He shook his head and explained firmly, "I try to impress no one, but Achilles. I care not for my name, but his. I am his soldier…" his eyes met hers with a fire, "It is to him I pledge."

As soon as his words finished Patroclus felt something strike the back of his head. As he slipped into his own oblivion he saw Briseis' feet drag past him and her screams filled the entire hut.

When Patroclus finally woke up he saw the angry eyes of Achilles watching him. As if instinct reaction Patroclus jumped back. Merely by looking at his golden god Patroclus knew what had happened. Agamemnon had taken Briseis for his own. Striking his head, Patroclus looked to Achilles and said, "I am sorry, Achilles. I remember not what happened."

Rising in front of Patroclus, Achilles walked over to his mulled wine and drank directly out of the pitcher. He slammed it down on the table and growled, "It was a simple girl. You were incapable of watching one simple girl."

Throwing the pitcher next to Patroclus' head, Achilles took two long strides till he was directly looming over him, "I would not dare call you my protégé now. You disgrace and disgust me, boy."

Without another word, Patroclus rose and left the room. With a few small words, he had been turned back into that sniveling child who feared Achilles. He had disgraced Achilles by failing him.

Back in the hut, Achilles threw items about the room. It wasn't Patroclus he was mad at. It was himself. It was Agamemnon. It was everything about the situation, but not Patroclus. The boy had done all he could to help and all he wanted was to show himself worthy. Letting out one more angry roar, Achilles barked out, "Eudorus! Eudorus!"

After a few moments the man entered the hut. Achilles seethed at the knowledge that Patroclus was always there within seconds, but it took Eudorus a few minutes. This disgusted him, so when the man came in, he cast him the glare of death as he said, "Find my cousin and bring him to me."

Eudorus bowed and exited with his usual pace until Achilles roared, "Hurry, man, I care not to wait all day."

Patroclus walked the shores of the beaches and felt his heart breaking. He had failed. All these years, all that training. Every single emotion cast away because he couldn't protect the girl. Achilles must have loved her. Patroclus kicked a nearby rock and walked across the sand.

A voice called to him. Patroclus cared not whose voice it was. Then a firm hand gripped at his bicep and Patroclus came face to face with Eudorus. The man seemed tense as he said, "Lord Achilles wishes to speak with you."

Patroclus immediately ran. For some odd reason all the pain went away as he made his way across the sand to Achilles.

When he came to the hut he walked in to a room in shambles. The entire room looked as though it had been ransacked. Patroclus took another step in to do a more in depth analysis. As he started to bend over a pair of strong arms wrapped around his waist. Patroclus panicked and began to fight. Then Achilles whispered in his ear, "It is I, Patroclus. We must talk."

--to be continued--


	6. Chapter 6

Author PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Okay, so here is the most revered chapter six, some occasional fundamental things happen, but I am not saying what. So, yes as most of you have noticed I am following the basic run of the movie. Therefore, as you also have noticed the sweet Patroclus is about to have a stupid moment. Um, the story will take a twist that none of you are expecting after the run of the mill movie. The movie is followed, but at the same time not. Um, not to give too much away. I just did not want you to stop reading after you think you know is the end.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Troy" characters, because if I did, then I would have stayed true to the real story. Same actors, but not the same "just" cousins thing.

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Patroclus felt Achilles' arms loosen, but not let go. For whatever the man was about to say, Achilles could not look at Patroclus and say it.

Quite suddenly, Achilles pushed Patroclus forward and then he walked over to his disheveled bedding and sat. Turning to stare at Achilles, Patroclus asked shyly, "You called, my lord?"

Achilles shot an angry glare to Patroclus as he growled, "My name is Achilles and do not forget it." a silence passed between them before Achilles snarled, "I am not angry with you, Patroclus. It is Agamemnon whom I hate with a biting passion. The way he feels he can just as easily take complete control of the situation."

On the last word Achilles hurled a nearby shield at the walls of the shabby shack. Patroclus took a step closer to the bed and kneeled before Achilles, "I am eternally sorry, Achilles. I had not meant to fail you. All I have ever tried to do is serve you as the best soldier and novice I could be." looking away from Achilles scorching stare Patroclus continued, "It appears my best was not the correct amount."

From the corner of his vision Patroclus saw a flash of anger then watched it dissolve to a calm pity as Achilles reached out and touched his face, "It is not as you think, cousin. You, Patroclus, have surpassed my expectations. Granted originally those were not high at our first meeting, but they grew and always have. You would make any king proud to call you his soldier."

Patroclus did not understand what Achilles was talking about. He gave his golden cousin hard confused stare as he asked, "If I am as good as you say, then why do you not allow me to fight for you?"

The time had come. Achilles knew his words had reached Patroclus. He had two options now he could still deny Patroclus the answer or he could tell him the fear that lurked in his heart.

Standing, Achilles began to pace about the room as he snarled with his nerves cracking, "Do not ask me to answer that, Patroclus! I cannot answer you."

All Patroclus did was turn to face Achilles as he watched him prowl about the room, "Do I not deserve an answer? Achilles, why can I not fight for you as a soldier?"

Achilles in one stride was in front of Patroclus practically a raging lion by now roared, "Why is it so important to you to fight? Why do you have this need to shed the blood of other men? Can you not just be content with where I have you?"

Not a single flinch the unfazed Patroclus answered stare for stare with Achilles, "I wish to fight side-by-side with you, Achilles. I want to know that I, too, am protecting someone I care about. Can you not understand my need to protect the man I lo-…the man I respect?"

The anger died in Achilles as he saw the firm sincerity in Patroclus' eyes. Achilles placed his hands on the boy's shoulders as he tried to find the right words to say. His mind was in a state of disorder, then his hand, without a command from him, brushed lightly Patroclus' cheek. The words flowed from Achilles as he looked at Patroclus, "If that is the case, then, cousin, you should understand why I do not let you fight."

Patroclus did not get entirely what Achilles was saying. He thought he understood, but what if he was wrong. Could Achilles love him as he loved Achilles?

The sent a wave of excitement and relief into Patroclus' veins. The girl had not meant that much to Achilles then.

Without another moment wasted Patroclus embraced Achilles. He threw his arms in a blinded wave of excitement around his golden god's waist. His excitement had gotten the better of him and he had just done it. His body was in a different state then him. He had wanted to do so much more, but he had managed to control himself that much…luckily.

Pulling away, Patroclus excused himself and started to leave. Without a moment's turning Achilles grabbed Patroclus by the arms and held him tight while he planted a chaste kiss to younger man's lips. Then he pulled back and said, "Fear not of offending me, Patroclus. It is you whom is my weakness. If I was to lose you, all of Greece would go down in flames till I found the man responsible. You are my only fear."

Every possible word Patroclus could have said in response caught in his throat. For the longest time both men just stood there staring at each other. Neither knowing what to say or do until Patroclus muttered mesmerized, "I love you, Achilles…"

It was at that very moment that Eudorus decided to show himself. He entered the room with his usual, "My lord?"

With a nod of the head, Achilles bid Patroclus good night. Reluctantly, Patroclus left the two men alone. He knew Eudorus wished to speak to Achilles about tomorrow's battle. He only wished he could have remained in there with Achilles.

Back in Achilles shack Eudorus walked about the room nervously. Achilles knew he was trying to say something, but he also knew the man never spoke out of turn. Eudorus either did this out of fear or out of respect. Finally, growing weary of the man, Achilles barked, "Either say your peace, Eudorus, or leave. I do not care for your nervous pacing."

Eudorus paused right in his tracks and looked at Achilles as though he was about to say something then thought against it. Giving a small bow, Eudorus excused, "My apologies, my lord. We shall discuss it all better in the morning."

With that, the man left.

Groaning out of frustration Achilles watched him leave. The man had interrupted, then in the end had nothing to say. What great pains to be a nuisance did Eudorus take?

When it looked as though Patroclus was not coming back. Achilles grabbed his nearest wine pitcher and began to drink. He sat back on his bed and buried his sobriety into that pitcher. He was tired of it all. Tired of being here on the beaches of Troy, tired of serving Agamemnon, and tired of being Achilles the world's greatest warrior. There were a few times in his life he was ever just Achilles and that was every time he was with Patroclus.

-the next morning-

By this time Achilles was just recovering from his night of drinking alone. As dawn approached with the rising sun, Eudorus followed by Patroclus entered his tiny hut. All Eudorus came to tell him was that the armies were marching.

How thrilling Agamemnon and his countless cronies were off to fight a war for a woman. Granted Helen of Sparta was supposedly the most beautiful woman.

Achilles cared not for fighting a battle that was not his own with an ungrateful, pig of a king. He had better battles to fight, better opponents to kill, and more things to do to waste his time fighting for a king who does not know the names of any of his men.

Achilles roared, "We do not fight till Agamemnon groans to have Achilles back!"

Achilles knew that Eudorus would say not another word and like always he was correct. The man excused, "As you wish…" and turned tail and ran.

Only Patroclus remained in the room. Achilles could feel the displeasure of the lad for moments on end. So as the silence passed for a few painstaking minutes, Achilles finally asked asininely, "Are you ready to fight? Are you ready to kill? To take life?"

Stare for stare, Patroclus answered proudly, "I am."

Achilles had known that the boy would say that, but to still hear him say the words nearly killed him. How could he make him understand that being a soldier was not all Patroclus thought it was?

Watching Achilles intently, Patroclus had to fight the urge to go and sit by Achilles. The man looked so broken and lost. These were new looks to Achilles for Patroclus.

Knocking him out of his daydream, Patroclus heard Achilles' voice say, "At night I see their faces, all the men I've killed. They're standing there at the far end of the River Styx. They're waiting for me. They say…'Welcome, brother'."

Patroclus could only stare at Achilles. What did he expect him to say? Patroclus had never seen this dark side of Achilles before. It was new and a little unnerving, but he let him in on a part of Achilles he shared with no one else.

When Patroclus did collect himself he did not have a chance to speak. Achilles muttered, "We men are wretched things." then turning to cast a look to Patroclus he said, "I taught you how to fight, I never taught you why to fight."

Why did Achilles not see how hard this was for him? Patroclus hated seeing Achilles so upset, he hated hearing the doubt in Achilles' voice, most of all, he hated not being able to do anything.

In reassurance, Patroclus attempted to comfort with, "I fight for you…"

Letting out a doubtful scoff, Achilles asked sardonically, "And who will you fight for when I am gone?" he paused to let his question sink in, then he continued, "Soldiers fight for kings they have never even met. They do what they are told when they are told."

Achilles was trying to make the boy understand. Why was Patroclus not processing what he was telling him? Patroclus was far too good to be just an average soldier. Achilles could not comprehend why Patroclus was trying so hard to fight. Why was it so important to him?

Giving Achilles a hard look, Patroclus said defiantly, "Soldiers obey."

Achilles was at a loss. No matter what he said, Patroclus had this idealistic idea in his head about a soldier's life. Why did it matter so much to him? When nothing else came and both men were at a loss for what to say next, Achilles said sincerely and softly, "Don't waste your life following some fool's orders."  
Looking at him in expectance, Achilles waited for Patroclus to say something, but nothing came. The boy just was biting his tongue in response to everything. Achilles practically threw a chair to the Eudorus-like behavior, instead he gritted his teeth and went back to his mulled wine. Then he quietly ordered, "Go…"

If Patroclus was to stay one more moment, Achilles would have lost it and everything he really felt would have come out. His mutual love for the boy would have been exposed. It was bad enough that Patroclus knew now that he was his only weakness.

The silence was becoming too much and when Achilles gave him that final pleading look Patroclus left. It was so hard to see him like that. Why was everything so hard now? Every time Achilles and him made progress, they always managed just to make matters worse. Now as he walked along the empty shores of the Trojan beach, Patroclus was giving up hope. All the soldiers had left. The only thing that remained was the empty remains of camps that had been recently forgotten it was as though all the people had just vanished. The Myrmidons were all in their own aspects on the beach.

They were either on the boat or asleep or wandering around aimlessly. Whether there were Myrmidons on this beach or not Patroclus knew not. His mind had him see an empty beach with dead campsites. He was alone in this world. Back in Phtia, Patroclus had Achilles, but now…

Now they were in Troy and Patroclus had no one. Achilles was with him, but Achilles was not _with_ him.

Soon Patroclus found himself on some old ancient ruins and he was surrounded by Myrmidons and Eudorus stood next to him. They all watched the fight being waged in a strange fascination. They watched as Greeks fought Trojans, while Greeks fell. A presence scorched Patroclus' back and when he quickly turned to look behind he met the indifferent gaze of Achilles.

How could he watch this and not care? Patroclus tried to hate Achilles, but he could not. The man was the best warrior and he was not the least bit effected. How was that fair? Even now, Patroclus still held an emotion so deep for Achilles that words were not enough.

-middle of the night-

After a night of drinking Patroclus noted just how much happier the men were. They had lost a battle and fellow comrades today, but give them some wine and wounds are mended. This idea disgusted Patroclus.

Achilles was right.

This new idea fixed any problems Patroclus might have had with Achilles. He was right, there were other battles and today's was nothing compared to what he would fight in. He had to see him! Patroclus had to speak with Achilles he had to apologize and make everything right. They had left on ill terms and Patroclus would make it better.

Now with the greatest of speeds, Patroclus rushed to Achilles' shack. Tonight they would speak and make things better. Everything would go back to how it was supposed to be. Achilles and him would talk the entire night and share a bed, perhaps. In the company of Achilles, Patroclus was not so alone in the world. No one cared for him the way Achilles did.

Sure the other soldiers spoke with him,…occasionally, and there was always Eudorus. Although, Eudorus was merely pulling Patroclus around as sort of a child's caretaker. It was quite clear he was doing so as a favor to Achilles than anything else. Since the death of his parents, the only other person Patroclus had was Achilles. After tonight they would forget all their other arguments and go back to those nights on the ship, to when they were training, to those dinners back in Phtia. After tonight they would be each other again.

As soon as Patroclus reached the shack he stopped dead outside the door-flap. The sounds he heard stopped him dead. The moans and groans of the most heightened passion. The electrifying crackle of flesh meeting flesh. Then the earth shattering cry of Briseis screaming, "Achilles!"

Patroclus fell to his knees. After it all, Achilles had chosen her. He truly did love her. Maybe if he was to go in there now, Achilles would stop and try to explain…Or maybe he would send Patroclus away again. Either way, Patroclus was still forgotten about. He was still only second in the heart of Achilles.

--to be continued--


	7. Chapter 7

Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Okay, it is just two to three more chapters left in this fic after this. I really enjoy writing it. Um, remember things are going to be different than the movie, the twist that is coming is not what you are thinking when I say twist, but it is good you will like it, so keep reading. I love getting your reviews they make me happy and are the reason why I keep writing these, because to know that people like to read what I love to write is awesome. Thank you, guys!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character of "Troy", so no asking to borrow Achilles or Patroclus for a night of fun wink I am not allowed to grant that.

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Leaning against the wall of the ship, Patroclus watched as Achilles exited his happy little hut of love. The man had a smile that he was attempting to hide and his eyes were glowing and shimmering. As mad as Patroclus was and as hurt, the look that Achilles was trying to hide made him happy. Achilles was happy, so thus, Patroclus was regret tingly happy. He watched as Eudorus made it easier for Achilles to conceal his happiness just by talking to him.

Eudorus was that sort of man. One could not help but sober up pretty quick when he was around.

The conversation was short lived as Eudorus began to talk to all the Myrmidons and Achilles went to talk to Odysseus. Perhaps they were going to fight after all. Could Briseis have talked Achilles into it? Then why would she have talked him into fighting her own people unless…

Achilles spotted Patroclus and as he began to smile it faded quickly as he felt the fire burning in his cousin's body. Patroclus was enflamed with fury and whatever had managed to severely anger Patroclus was going to be taken out on him. So, Achilles looked away from meeting Patroclus' angry gaze.

Attempting to control himself Patroclus asked, "We're going home?"

Finally Achilles looked at him and answered, "We sail in the morning."

At least he was answering honestly Patroclus thought. Still! Achilles was leaving Troy, because that woman had asked him. He knew that was the reason why Achilles was leaving why else would Achilles be running away?

Enraged Patroclus almost growled, "Greeks are being slaughtered. We can't just sail away."

To keep himself from saying 'We can't just sail away, because a woman managed to enthrall you' Patroclus bit his tongue.

As soon as he had finished his statement, Achilles said, "If it is fighting you still long for, there will always be another war. I promise you this."

He was honestly choosing this woman over his country, his countrymen, over him. Patroclus was losing his cool as he practically yelled, "These are our countrymen. You betray all of Greece just to see Agamemnon fall."

Patroclus knew why he was upset and he knew the real reason was shining through bright in his eyes. Most of all, he knew Achilles could see the real meaning behind his words. His heart died when Achilles proved that by saying, "Someone has to lose."

Both Patroclus and Achilles knew that Achilles was not just talking about Agamemnon losing the war. He was talking about him, too.

The biting pain that Patroclus was now alone in the world killed him. He had lost Achilles forever. He was completely alone in the world now. He turned and stormed off, holding back the tears. What was the point in even being here at Troy if the only person he cared to impress was Achilles and now that Achilles had all but told him that Patroclus had lost…?

Patroclus could not take it anymore. He ran and he ran; the sand under his sandals the blazing sun, the talk surrounding him, all of it was surrounding him, drowning him. Patroclus needed air. He couldn't take it anymore. All these years holding in the pain, the tears, the wounds, everything, all for a man who hated him now.

Before he knew it, Patroclus was at the once temple of Apollo. He was alone. The ruins and the artifacts thrown everywhere. Blood smeared the walls and the statues were tossed over. The tan stone walls were cold and unfeeling for Patroclus. In the center of the temple, where the largest statue stood, Patroclus fell to his knees and he wept. He held his arms and on his knees he screamed. He roared with anger and pounded his fists into the floor while the tears rolled down his cheeks.

Failure.

Heart-ache.

Death.

Loneliness.

Everything was coming to Patroclus in tenfold. Outside he was alive and raring to go, but on the inside death swept through him like a tidal wave. All those years of training and in Achilles' shadow, all those emotions, all that hope,…all that love, and for what? For a broken heart? For humiliation? No! Looking up Patroclus saw a strange light glowing over the Apollo statue. Then the idea came into his head.

Tomorrow there would be a battle of battles. Tomorrow he would fight as Achilles and prove to Achilles that he was worthy.

-later that night-

As Achilles held Briseis he thought, _I have not seen Patroclus all day. I hope the lad did not take my words too hard. He seemed upset. I could have handled that better. I only wish he-_

Briseis interrupted his thoughts by saying, "Am I still your captive?"

Even though he had been looking at Briseis in his arms, Achilles was not thinking about her. She was quite amazing though. His words were true, but saying them right now felt a little hollow. There was something missing with Briseis that he thought he felt. Brushing it off Achilles looked deep into Briseis' eyes and cooed, "You're my guest."

So this was what men felt for love. Achilles looked deep into Briseis' eyes and thought, _I could live the rest of my life with this woman…_

Their late night exchange went on for awhile until he kissed her. As Achilles kissed her his body sang with a need to take her again that night and he thought, _I hope Patroclus is all right…_

-early dawn-

Strapping the armor in place, Patroclus took a deep breath and grabbed the spear and shield on his way out. The sword on his side clicked and clanged as he skulked into a run like his cousin. The spear and shield did nothing to hurt him from being Achilles. If anything the enviroment, the weapons, the smells, the men cheering all of it added to his act. The Myrmidons saw him and followed. Surrounding soldiers cheered and shouted his name, well Achilles' name.

Patroclus made his way through the dusky smoke and the sweaty, bloodied men to the front of the battle. It was his time.

Trojan men came at him and he fought each of them off with skill. At this moment he was Achilles. At this moment he was great. Tonight he would go to Achilles with the knowledge to say, 'I am your novice.'

Then Hector came. When Patroclus saw Hector a new thought came into his mind. To bring the head of Prince Hector back to Achilles in honor of him. Oh, how proud would Achilles be!

Slowly they began to circle each other like two lions. Patroclus matched Hector step for step. Suddenly it started! Hector came at him first when Hector swung, Patroclus raised his shield and blocked him off then he tried to swing. Both men exchanged weaponry swings.

Patroclus for a split second looked at Hector and saw his fate. He saw the man for what type of fighter he was. Patroclus took to wrong a step and got knocked back by Hector's sword blow. The fight had taken a different turn and no longer were they matched.

Patroclus breathed heavy as he tried to keep up with just blocking alone and occasionally he would attempt to get a hit in, only for it to be turned back against him. Then the final blow came and Patroclus watched as Hector's sword burned across his neck.

For a moment a hush fell across every man as he stayed suspended back for what seemed like centuries.

He had failed.

Then he fell back onto his back. Patroclus stared up into the cloudy sky and knew just what he had done. A cheer fell over the Trojan men as they all rejoiced in the death of 'Achilles', then light shone through as the helmet was removed. Shock rippled through the ranks.

As Patroclus laid there dying he tried to cope with the knowledge of what he had just done. Then the thought of what Achilles would go through. Between the pain screaming through his neck and his breaking heart Patroclus knew not what he was going to do.

-back by Achilles tent-

Roaming about in his hut, Achilles heard the sound of men coming back from battle. The sounds of chatting and sand rustling. Now it was time for Eudorus to get it. Achilles would wait till the man came to him. Better to let him squirm, then end it soon.

"Achilles." called Eudorus' voice from outside the tent.

It was time. Achilles skulked over to the door-flap and pushed it aside as he came out. When he spotted Eudorus he wiped the grin off his face and walked towards him saying, "You violated my command."

Eudorus slowly shook his head. There was clear fear in his eyes and Achilles reveled in it as he said, "I ordered the Myrmidons to stand down and you lead them into combat."

Falling to his knees before him, Achilles looked down at Eudorus as he said with the greatest fear of all, "I didn't lead them, my lord. We thought you did."

-to be continued-


	8. Chapter 8

Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Okay, so enjoy this chapter and remember, please keep reading and reviewing. I really hope you enjoy it. Thanks for still reading and actually liking my fanfic…hopefully.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of "Troy". I wish I did….hehehe, Achilles and Patroclus are major yumyums.

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Looking down with vehemence at the sniveling Eudorus, Achilles was barely holding in his greatest fears. Something inside him was screaming for Patroclus and Achilles' thoughts turned traitorous. No longer could he look at Eudorus and his fearful sympathy. The man was only sympathetic and sorry, because he knew he would not like what Achilles would do to him. Looking away Achilles growled in fear, "Where is Patroclus? Where is my cousin? Patroclus! Patroclus!"

Eudorus had said some something in reply, but Achilles was to busy looking at all the Myrmidon faces avoiding his eyes. They all knew something. They all were trying to hide the truth from him. Finally losing it Achilles hit Eudorus with so much force the man was knocked to the sand. Looking down at him, Achilles heaved as Eudorus whimpered, "Dead, my lord. Hector slit his throat."

Achilles stumbled back a few paces.

Dead.

His Patroclus was dead. The world began to cave in at the notion. His mother had warned him. She had told him, Patroclus would die had he gone to Troy. For a split second Achilles did nothing as the notion sank in, but when it did. Bang!

He was like a lightning bolt shooting across to kill whoever was closest. Eudorus! It was Eudorus who had not stopped Patroclus. He had not known the difference between Achilles and Patroclus. It was him, who did nothing. He brought Achilles the news. Achilles foot stepped on Eudorus' throat with so much pressure Achilles waited for the man's eyes to pop out of his sockets and for his foot to crash through the man's neck to disengage his head from the man's shoulder.

Nothing happened he watched in an evil, angry revel as Eudorus struggled helpless under the foot. Then a small feminine hand pleaded to help save him. Achilles slapped it away.

He looked only to see Briseis near him.

Her!

The bitch who had seduced him with her large fighting eyes and her sweet lips, it was her fault. Achilles reached for her throat and began to feel the life fading out of her as she struggled under his hand. Briseis, Eudorus, everyone, it was everyone else's fault Patroclus was dead.

Then it hit him. No, it was his fault. He had not protected Patroclus as he had vowed. It was Achilles, himself, who had neglected Patroclus for Briseis. It was Achilles who had trained Patroclus to move exactly like him. Patroclus was dead and he had killed him. Letting go of Briseis and walking over a heavy breathing Eudorus, Achilles stammered to the ocean. The gods had smited him. They were laughing at him now. The immortals were punishing him and more especially Ares, the war god, was testing how strong he was.

Funny thing was though, Achilles cared not for life anymore. He stood in the water with it crashing around his waist and his clothes soaking in the water, completely bereft of all life. His body was here, but his soul was screaming for death.

Why had he been so stupid? He had seen it in Patroclus' eyes. He had seen the boredom move to a feeling of uselessness, and then on to a feeling of betrayal, then the broken heart and finally the last thing that he saw in his beloved Patroclus' eyes…the hollow glow of hopelessness. By the time, he had last talked to Patroclus and last seen him; the boy was dead in his heart. Hector may have killed the boy's body, but it was he, Achilles, who had killed Patroclus inside.

How blind could one man be? Achilles knew not what he felt for Briseis, was it love or lust, he knew not. Love was such a motivating emotion. Men fought to find and keep love, but what he felt for Patroclus was beyond love. True love looked like a mere fancy in comparison to his feelings for the boy.

Achilles felt the strange sensation of water rolling down his cheeks as he stood in the middle of the waterside. He looked out at the endless ocean with a sense of despair. The sensation only continued stronger. Finally, raising a finger to touch his cheeks, Achilles realized he was crying.

_So, this is what grief feels like?_, Achilles thought as he looked at his hand with the gleaming, mocking tears. A feeling all too new to Achilles, grief, sorrow, loss, all of them were new and unfamiliar. So, with new emotions comes new ways to deal with them.

An hour must have passed with him just standing there before a small voice said from behind him, "Achilles? Are you going to come back on the shore?"

The small, but strong voice of Briseis now angered him beyond any possible understanding. That same voice this morning seduced him, but not it made his stomach crawl. He tried to bite down the bile climbing in his throat as he snarled calmly, "I will come out when I see fit."

Then another voice said, "Achilles, I do not have the words that I can say to ease the pain of losing your cousin, but I can tell you he fought well and died proud."

Like an angry lion suddenly being attacked Achilles turned in the water to face Odysseus and snarled without hesitation, "Fought well? Died proud? Is that what matters in our lives as men, Odysseus? Men like you and me were born to be fighters; men like Patroclus were born to be great men without all the blood and flesh on their hands. They are the only true and pure beings in this world. They are the real pride of the gods."

Taking a step closer to Achilles, Odysseus replied softly, "It is not the object of war to annihilate those who have given provocation for it, but to cause them to mend their ways; not to ruin the innocent and guilty alike, but to save both. Can you not see this, Achilles?"

Achilles gave Odysseus a deadly stare, "What is it you are leading to say, Odysseus?"

"All that there is too say, Achilles. Whom the gods love, dies young."

Achilles trudged out of the water, to where he stood only inches away from Odysseus. His voice was a calm roar as he said, "The gods allowed Patroclus to die as a punishment for me. They test me and my strength by taking the one remaining piece of humanity I had in this world." giving an icy stare to Briseis he said, "He was the only good left in this world."

Placing a comforting hand on Achilles' shoulder Odysseus said, "Now I have met the boy. I am sure he was not completely innocent."

Shrugging off the hand, Achilles walked past Odysseus to go back to the shore as he muttered, "You did not know Patroclus…"

Finding Eudorus, Achilles said void of all emotion, "Where is the body of my cousin?"

The same fear struck in Eudorus' eyes as he stammered, "S-Still on the battlefield, my lord. The Trojans collect their dead first, then we shall do the same."

Grabbing the collar of Eudorus' armor Achilles pulled the man closer as he snarled, "You left my cousin's body to lie with the other corpses?!"

Eudorus could only nod at this point. Achilles knew the man thought he was going to kill him, but he instead, he tossed him to the ground and stalked off. There was nowhere else Achilles wanted to go right now more than he did the battlefields. Grabbing the nearest horse he swung himself onto it without even breaking his stride. There was no pause even when he got onto the horse. His mind was a hazy storm at the moment, but his heart knew exactly where Patroclus was.

Still staring at the retreating figure of Achilles, Eudorus was still very lost on how to handle this. He had never seen Achilles so violent and so short-tempered with anyone. He looked next to him and saw Briseis walking up. She seemed very confused as well.

Briseis stopped right next to the man called Eudorus and asked, "He takes his cousin's death personally. How close were they?"

Eudorus thought for the right words for a second before answering, "Patroclus was Achilles' first and only novice. He refused to teach anyone his secrets of fighting and battle the way he did with Patroclus. That boy had all the training to make the perfect soldier, but all of us knew he would never see battle."

Briseis nodded, "They were exceptionally close then? I mean, Achilles speaks very highly of fighting and his abilities. Why would he not want to show off Patroclus?"

Eudorus gave an honest laugh as he questioned right back, "Would a woman send a son or husband to war?"

With that Briseis watched as Eudorus walked off. She still could not understand why Achilles had looked at her with so much hate before. If he loved her, why was he acting like this?

Finally standing in the center of the bodies, Achilles stood but a few steps away from Patroclus' corpse. Laying there in the sand, dead…

A sense of poison streaming through his veins came upon him again as each step was taken. He had to get there, but he knew the minute he would see Patroclus' face he would lose it.

As he almost came into full sight of his face, a voice said behind Achilles, "I thought he was you."

Hector.

Achilles turned on the ball of his foot to stare like a hungry lion at Hector. Achilles could feel the burning hate raising in his heart and the bile creeping up his throat. No! Not today! Achilles would not kill him today. Tonight was for Patroclus, not Hector. So, without even trying to hide the hate and pain in his voice Achilles said, "Tonight I burn my cousin, tomorrow I stain the sand with your blood."

Without another word Hector left. Achilles did not even bother to watch him go. What was the point? The man had too much honor to strike Achilles in the back. Looking over his shoulder Achilles thought cynically, _He even killed Patroclus across the throat and then put him out of his pain_.

The time had come, Achilles had to face the body. As he stood over the dead corpse of what was once the most important person in his life, Achilles felt the world dying around him. He stared into the cold, dead, unfeeling eyes of a man who once was a shining ray of light in Achilles dark and bloody world. Now those same eyes were unfeeling and empty. Falling to his knees, Achilles touched the side of Patroclus' face.

Cold.

It couldn't be true. It couldn't! His Patroclus was not dead. That was impossible! Impossible…

That word was once a challenge to Achilles. With Patroclus alive he knew nothing could break him down, but now? Now?

Now life was pointless and endless. There was nothing in this cold dead world for Achilles to be human for. Now he was a cold killing machine. His heart was dying inside his chest and he was stone.

As the world darkened around him a voice said meekly, "Achilles?"

Slowly turning Achilles felt the hot breath of hope behind him. That voice was hope. He knew that voice like no other person did. He rose to his feet to stand face to face with the glowing figure of everything that embodied hope. His voice a mere whisper he breathed, "P-Patroclus?"

-to be continued-


	9. Chapter 9

Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: I am so sorry! Okay this is a new long record for me. I promise it won't happen again. I will be prompt with my posting and then I shall wrap it up and ended it. After I was prompted begins eating cookie to finally post the new chapter, I realized the error of my ways. Okay then, I shall end this little note now and say that I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do no own a single character from the movie "Troy" nor the history of it. Hell! I wasn't even born of even thought of yet.

-------

Achilles took a step closer to the figure standing in a few feet away from him. How was this possible? There, on the cold ground, lay Patroclus' body, but who was this standing before him? It was Patroclus alive and well, slightly paler and surrounded by an odd glow. Not to mention the very same wound on his neck, except this scar had healed and left only a distant scar. Before Achilles could move any closer, Patroclus raised his hand and said, "No…we cannot touch. I am dead, Achilles. We…you cannot change that. I am only here to help you make it through."

A spirit.

Staring right into Patroclus' eyes, Achilles took another firm step towards Patroclus. His hand was a breath away from what would have been a shoulder, then the hand still inches away slowly slid down Patroclus' arm as he breathed, "A spirit. Then you really are far from this world…"

Without any sympathy, Patroclus nodded and said diligently, "Yes, Hector killed me to-"

Eyes snapping to meet Patroclus, Achilles snarled viciously, "No! I killed you! It is I who made you believe what you did. If I had not-" the words died in Achilles throat as he stared at Patroclus.

The boy had softened now. Patroclus was putting on the awesome act of being all right, even as a spirit Achilles could see him breaking inside.

When he started to reach out and pull him in for a deep embrace, he paused. They could not touch. Looking at him in the eyes, instead Achilles stated firmly, "I am sorry, Patroclus, I mean this truly. If I could think of a way to make it up to you, I would…"

"Follow your true path, Achilles. As hard as it may be, follow it."

How badly the ache to hold him pained Achilles. Looking sincerely at the boy, Achilles never knew just how much he had loved him till this very moment. Falling to his knees before Patroclus, Achilles looked up into the boy's eyes and vowed, "I will avenge you. No man will go unpunished till Hector's blood stains my blade. It is for your soul's peace I fight."

Speechless, Patroclus kneeled before Achilles and murmured sheepishly, "I am dead now, why does it matter? You must fight Hector, this I know, but why in my name?"

Without another word Achilles got up and walked over to Patroclus' body. Silent were his movements as he placed the body on his horse and he pulled his own onto the steed as well.

Pushing out a frustrated breath, Patroclus looked at Achilles, then to his own dead body and said, "Even when I am dead you cannot tell me what you really feel."

Achilles shot a look in the direction of the ghost's voice, but when he looked…he was gone.

Riding back to the camp alone was the hardest thing Achilles had ever done. The silence that spanned between himself and the corpse shot through his heart like a burning arrow. He was not used to this concept. Patroclus was the light of his universe, he was the humanity, he was purity, he was all things good. Most of all, he was hope.

Hope was dead in front of him right now. All the good in the world, all the faith that he held that he might return home was dead. The body leaned against him in a backward slouch. Patroclus' slashed throat was exposed to the heavens. Achilles said a sadistic prayer that all of Olympus could see the slit throat of Patroclus. He longed for the gods to see the exposed throat of the one he loved most.

Upon his arrival, Eudorus and Odysseus came running up to him. Slowly following were other soldiers. Achilles cared not.

As he dismounted the body fell completely back and Achilles gathered it into his arms. When he started to walk off, Eudorus shouted an order, "Take Lord Achilles' cousin to have his body prepared for burial!"

Achilles walked emotionless past Eudorus and said, "I shall do it myself."

A hushed murmur ripped through the crowd. One look from Achilles and it was silent again. If he was to live in silence the rest of his days, then so would everyone else. They could whisper about him all they liked, but not Patroclus.

No, never Patroclus.

The boy was dead and he would not have them ruin his name. If one rumor came back to him, then Achilles would hunt down the man who started it and he would slaughter him mercilessly.

Footsteps were in sync behind him and Achilles knew their soldier rhythm. With a quick closing of his eyes, Achilles breathed, "What is it you wish, Odysseus?"

Finally, stepping next to him Odysseus placed a hand on his shoulder, "For you to see the insanity of your behavior, Achilles. The gods take who they will and if it was destined for Patroclus to die, then I say-"

Achilles' eyes blazed as he snarled, "What if it had been your Penelope? Or Telemachus? Would you have said it was destined then?"

Oh, Achilles saw the look of sincere concern cross Odysseus' face as he said, "You are right, my friend. All I ask is that you allow us to help you."

If Odysseus thought that his _simple_ request would be approved…he was wrong. The duty of cleaning the body would be solely Achilles'. No other man, woman, slave, or captive would dare touch Patroclus' corpse. The body was his to clean and prepare.

With a shake of his head, Achilles said firmly, "I shall go to the temple of Apollo by myself and prepare his body. No one shall enter that temple or be dead on the moment there foot enters." Achilles turned fast and snapped, "Let all men be warned now."

On that final note he carried the body all the way to the ransacked temple of Apollo. As he walked up the stairs he spotted the decapitated head of the Apollo stating staring at him from the second to top stair. He looked down at the gold head with such vehemence he thought the gold would melt. As he snarled he kicked it, "Is this my punishment? Is this your honest trade, Apollo?"

As the head rolled down the steps he watched it with an odd fascination. He could feel his control slowly letting go. He was losing all sense of control that he had. The beast inside was coming through and he could feel it strongly. Attempting to hold in all his inner emotions Achilles bound up the rest of the stairs to the doors. With his hands filled with Patroclus he kicked open the door.

Walking to the dead center of the temple, he spotted the destroyed alter. The stone table had once held respected artifacts and candles, but now they were spread across the room. Setting the body of his blessed cousin on the table, Achilles kept his eyes on the large statue of Apollo in the center of the open.

This is where he had once came face to face with Prince Hector, the man who killed his Patroclus. Falling to his knees, Achilles looked into the dead eyes of the Apollo statue and he cursed vehemently, "I challenged you and you took to the coward's way. You could not kill me, so you took an innocent. This is the mighty, honest Apollo's revenge? This is where your envy takes you!"

On that note Achilles took his dagger and carved a single scar across the back of his calf. As he still stared into the unfeeling eyes he vowed, "Hear me now, Apollo. Upon my blood and Patroclus' corpse I will have my revenge upon Hector and Troy for what they have taken from me. Most of all, I will prove to you, Apollo, you have not won."

As he said this, the blood dripped from his calf and from his dagger. Then taking the bloody dagger he sliced across the back of Patroclus' calf. As the dead blood spewed across the dagger, Achilles ignored the tears streaming down his cheeks.

He did not cry the mighty Achilles never cried. Tears and sorrow were for the weak, all his life weakness he was not allowed. By the gods, he did not care at this moment. He buried his face into Patroclus and he wept.

"Achilles? Do you weep for me?" The voice of Patroclus asked from behind him.

Achilles turned his head to the side and looked off. He refused to look at the spirit. His voice was hollow as he said, "Be gone, spirit, I have no use for you here. Why do you come? Did the gods send you to taunt me? To remind me of things long past and that are now out of my grasp?"

Now the spirit of Patroclus moved to his side. Achilles could feel him at the head of his own body. Achilles moved his head to see. The spirit stood behind the head of Patroclus and looked down into his own dead face.

Patroclus said wistfully, "I bring you pain when I am dead and yet here I am listening to you telling me to go. What is it you ask of me, Achilles?"

Now he stood tall and proud. Achilles looked into the eyes of Patroclus and said firmly with his heart-ache causing him to soften, "I ask that you come back to me. I need you here…"

"I tried to be perfect for you, Achilles. I was never what you needed me to be, if I was you never let me know. You have Briseis, what use am I to you?"

Beating around some more of the holy artifacts Achilles snarled, "You were plenty use to me! You were the cage for the beast! With you gone I wish vengeance on every soul who is at fault for why you are dead. Which is everyone! The gods, the Myrmidons, Briseis, Eudorus, everyone! No one bothered to save you, no one stopped you, people blinded me. Your death is on the fault of all of humanity."

Giving him his usual calm stare Patroclus asked, "What are you to do, Achilles? Are you going to bring death and destruction to the world?"

Falling to his knees in front of the spirit, Achilles looked into his eyes and said, "I brought you nothing, but pain in your life, Patroclus. I shall drown in the sea of blood I shall spill at your command."

"Achilles?" a small feminine voice asked nervously.

Shooting a glare over to the source, Achilles met the scared gaze of Briseis. Her eyes were large and on the brink of tears as she stammered, "I brought some burial robes from Eudorus. He told me that Thetis gave them to him on the case of Patroclus' death. Is Thetis who?"

Snatching the clothes from her hands he growled, "My mother…"

Briseis walked over to the head of the corpse and placed her warm hand to the cold cheek. As she gently looked into the face of Patroclus she murmured, "I only encountered the boy several times in his life and only spoke with him once, but he was so stern. Was he always so serious, Achilles.

Now this question made Achilles laugh. It was a sweet remembering laugh as he rose to walk over to look into the face of Patroclus. He said bittersweet tone, "Only when he was not getting his way. If things were not going as he wished that boy knew how to mope like no other soul I knew. He pouted better than most women."

Briseis looked at Achilles then back at Patroclus as she said, "It surprises me he could have been happy the rest of the time. From what I knew of him, it is a smile I cannot imagine. Was it that he wanted to fight that plagued him?"

Now the smile on Achilles' face faded to a grimace as he explained, "Since he came to live with us all he wished in this world was to make me proud and prove himself to me. I would never allowed him to fight. He should not have been a soldier. Although I it was not just the lack of fighting that caused his severe demeanor. It was that among other things."

Saying that his eyes met Briseis' and he could see her soaking in the new assessment. As if surprised she asked aghast, "He disapproved of our relationship?"

Giving a humorless laugh Achilles answered, "In every way he could…"

to be continued


	10. Chapter 10

Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: -clears throat- I…uh….I apologize for delaying on this for a butt load of long time. The whole college thing kicked my butt and all. I vow though that I will be regular and constant with these updates till the last and final chapter of this story! Again, and sorry for the delay. -gives cookie- Here my peace offering. -cookie has a bite out of it- Sorry, I like cookies too.

Disclaimer: I do not own the story, movie, or characters of the movie or history of "Troy".

--

Briseis looked from Achilles to the corpse laying motionless next to her as she seemed to be having a hard time grasping all of this, "I thought he was your cousin?"

Still holding her stare, Achilles would have laughed, but not now, "Yes, he was. Patroclus, was my cousin and the dearest soul in my life."

Now the girl seemed scared, skittish…and utterly disgusted, "He was in love with you."

The audacity of her pronouncing that and looking upon Patroclus with disgust outraged Achilles. If she had not backed away, he would have struck her with all the pain in his body. Not with his heart, because no pain lingered there. Only hate controlled his beating center.

Once she hit the wall, Briseis muttered, "Did you love him?"

The look he gave her caused her to run.

He did not know from what she ran. Was it the truth? Was it from him and his anger?

At this point, he did not care.

Sinking to his knees, Achilles tried so hard to hold back the beast that was calling for blood inside him. There was so much rage and so much anguish. He was living in Hades' torture. Damned for life…

A roar so loud and so pained erupted from the mortal god's throat as he begged with the heavens to relieve him of this pain.

A gentle wind caressed Achilles' face as he opened his eyes to see Patroclus crouching in front of him.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, cousin? Live, Achilles, and stop this torture." the spirit pleaded with him.

When he reached out to touch him, Patroclus flinched away, "I already told you. We cannot touch."

Slamming his fist into the ground, Achilles roared again as tears now burned so strong in his eyes, that Achilles could not hold them back. His pain was too great and the hurt was so constant. His voice edged on the brink of breaking as he snarled, "Then why return to me? To mock me? To taunt me? I cannot take this. You are a spirit from Hell!"

His blazed by the end of his anger. Although remorse coursed through Achilles as he saw the pain flash in Patroclus' eyes at the last statement.

Only silence passed between them at that point.

Finally, Patroclus rose to his feet and walked past Achilles, "I am sorry. If you want me gone, then I will not stay."

Achilles arose to his feet, "Patroclus! No! I-" he cut off his words. Achilles to weaken himself to say that. He would not make himself weak. He would not bow before someone who was not even alive.

Patroclus turned around and looked at him, "That's what killed me more than Hector's final blow." his eyes met with Achilles' "It was always your damned pride, Achilles, that killed me."

Before Achilles could say anything, Briseis yelped from her spot near the wall, "A spirit…"

Achilles breathed out slowly and nodded, "Yes, Trojan slave, Patroclus still lingers here in this world. He haunts me more than he did when he was alive."

Her steps took her to him immediately. Briseis was gripping at him desperately, "Let me help you, Achilles! Please! If you let me in I can save you from yourself…" she dropped her voice to just above a frantic whisper, "…from him."

Achilles ripped out of her grip and stalked across this temple turned tomb. He roared as it paced about it, "Damn all of you to the River Styx! What do you want of me? Both of you require a price I cannot afford to pay! I cannot, nay! I will not open such vulnerability only to be killed in the end because the price I paid was such a foolish-"

He stopped when he caught Patroclus' ghost white face staring at him with an agry face covering up the tears in his eyes. For the first time, Achilles saw past himself and his own damned pride and arrogance. For the first time…he saw what truly lay in Patroclus' eyes…he saw the heartbreak…the confusion…the dying…

He dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands as he trembled with anger. This time it wasn't the kings, it wasn't Hector, it wasn't the Fates or the gods.

It was himself.

Right now, Achilles hated himself.

He stood up slowly and skulked over to Patroclus' body. He laid his hands on the table and hung his head. Briseis wanted to reach out to him. She wanted to touch him.

His voice was low and ominous, "My life is nothing. I am a soldier. It was and is my sole purpose for being. I live to serve one man and shed the blood of everyone else. Patroclus was more than that. He was life. He was hope. Upon his true birth, he showed me a new side to men. Not all of us were hateful, murderous creatures. Not all people were liars and deceivers. He was all that was good." his back shook and tensed in anger, "Where I had sinned, he had saved. In only a moment I saw the truth of what he was. Only beauty flowed in his blood. I would take his place in this tomb. Patroclus did not deserve what was issued to him, Briseis. He deserved to love, to laugh, to…" he choked on the word, "…live."

Briseis cried, because she knew now she would never be what Patroclus was to him. So this was what love was. It broke her heart to give him up…but then again…she never really had him. She started to walk towards him, but stop when Patroclus' spirit beat her to it. He stood beside Achilles reaching his hand out but stopping himself. His words were only meant for Achilles, but Briseis still listened, "Achilles, "I was never as good as you thought. I have sins carved in my skin just as you do. I did not die in some great cause. I did not die for the Greeks or for some king. I died for you. I died trying to prove to you that I was good enough for all you-"

Achilles pounded his fist, "Damn it! That is not wanted I wanted for you, Patroclus."

Sighing, Patroclus asked, "Then why did you bring me?"

Achilles growled, "Do you not fear me, Patroclus?"

That made a bittersweet smile cross Patroclus' face, "I am dead, Achilles, what have I to fear from you?" before Achilles could answer Patroclus continued, "She is gone. She left just a few moments ago."

Achilles stalked off to another part of the temple. The air was thick and musky in there. It choked Achilles like a collar. He paced about growling and muttering the entire time. He began to actually form words with his tirade.

Patroclus watched his diatribe with a heavy heart. It was clear the emotion he could invoke in Achilles was pain and anger. It would have been better off if he had never come under his tutelage. He hung his head low and murmured, "I am sorry I ever loved you..."

Achilles stopped his golden head slowly turned to face Patroclus, "What did you just say, cousin?"

Patroclus looked up and repeated, "I am sorry I ever loved you, Achilles."

Before Achilles could reach him, Patroclus disappeared like a fading memory you just can't get your mind around. He stood there alone in the temple calling out his name on a roar. Be damned the gods for ever cursing him with their envious hatred. Be damned himself for never being able to let go of his ill-fated arrogance.

Footsteps.

Achilles looked to see Eudorus standing there. The man had only worry on his face as he watched the turmoil. Arising to his feet, Achilles wipe all emotions from his face and stalked over to the body he began cleansing Patroclus' corpse. His voice was back to his normal emotionless demanding tone, "After I prepare the body, we will burn him and I promise I will shed Hector's blood. Do you understand, Eudorus?"

Daring to take another step, Eudorus asked, "Will you then have what you seek, my lord? Will Hector's death really appease you for the loss of your cousin? I knew Patroclus, too. He was a good lad. Full of spirit, potential. The men-your men, Achilles, they, too mourn the boy's loss. Most of all, we mourn the loss of our leader's livelihood. We all know that you die with the boy." he bowed respectfully, "Let me know if there is anything I can do, my lord."

Achilles' voice called out to Eudorus as he left, "Eudorus!"

The man stopped, "Yes, my lord?"

Achilles looked up at him thru his pain-coated eyes, "Help me prepare him."

Eudorus nodded.

It would have been a simple request for anyone who wasn't Achilles. Right now, Achilles was letting Eudorus in to help him. Achilles never asked for help. He was the great Achilles. He needed no one. Right now, he was far too angry and far too ravenous for blood, not to have some humanity in his heart. Eudorus knew what it took for Achilles, so he kept silent and obeyed whatever Achilles told him.

After they had almost finished, Achilles said, "I will do what is right by him, Eudorus."

Eudorus put his hand on Achilles' shoulder, "You already have, my lord."

Achilles let out a long breath, "No, there is still more I must do."

Eudorus looked at his leader through sympathetic sights, "You cannot bring him back, my lord."

Achilles growled through clenched teeth, "I'll be damned if I cannot."

to be continued


	11. Chapter 11

Author's PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Sooooo it's been awhile? A looooooooong while actually. Over a year in fact…I apologize for the loooooooon delay and am extremely sorry. I hope this makes up for it. I will be posting a new chapter every night this week till I am finished with the story. So here it is after a long wait. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the history or in the movie.

Eudorus helped Achilles in silence. There was nothing he could say to help his lord. There was so much he wanted to say, but nothing he knew quite how to vocalize.

By the time, he had found something to say the body was prepared. Taking a deep breath, Eudorus spoke calm and steady, "My lord? May I speak?"

Achilles simply nodded. Eudorus was about to speak when Achilles gave him a warning look, "If anything you say begins to sound like Briseis or Odysseus I will not hesitate to kill you."

"That is understandable, my lord. I wish to say that I knew Patroclus well. He was a good lad and fine soldier. I saw him fight and knew it wasn't you. He moved like you and I thought it was you, but when he made that simple mistake that cost him his life with Hector-"

Achilles growled, "When does this solace begin to actually console and not sting?"

"Soon, my lord, soon. He moved and fought like you, not because it was you that had trained him, but because it was you he wished to be. He cared deeply for you. The boy wanted nothing more to please you. He wanted to make you proud because it would make you happy. If he was to see you in this pain now…how would he feel, my lord?"

The words sank in slowly, but Achilles would not stop his self-punishment, "It matters not what he wants. It matters what I-"

"Is that not the thinking that caused his death, lord Achilles?"

The look he shot would have killed another man, but Eudorus knew his lord well enough. This pain and grief was not just another tantrum of his, it was true pain. Those were things Achilles took pains enough to make sure everyone thought it was not capable of…by Eudorus knew better. He knew better because he had seen him with the boy. Achilles was happy and proud. He looked at the boy and treated him far more differently than Eudorus had ever witnessed. So now as he gave him advise he spoke carefully, "My lord, I only say these things because what is it about the boy's death that upsets? Is this just another tantrum over a bruised ego? Or is it grief over the tragic death of a child?"

Achilles would have yelled and thrown the man out of his sight, but it was the last few words that gave him pause, "He was not a child. He was a young man. A young man that deserved far better than I could have given him here at Troy. He deserved love and a family, not blood and war and the sins of men."

Eudorus could see the pain in Achilles heart, "He did have love and family though, my lord. He had you and he had us. He had so much than you give him credit for at his young age."

Achilles couldn't take anymore of this conversation, "Enough! I am tired of this. Go and see if the pyre is ready for him…"

There was so much more that Eudorus wanted and needed to say than just this, but it was best not to tempt Achilles with how well he was taking all this now. He would leave in peace with a simple "Yes, my lord" he was gone.

Achilles brooded there for awhile over the body of his dead Patroclus, "Are you ready for this, Patroclus? I hope you enjoy your stay in Tartarus or the Elysian Fields or wherever it may be those damned gods have put you. Enjoy it for it will not be long till I have you back here."

He stalked off and out to where the pyre stood. He carried the body himself. No one else was allowed to touch it. This was his burden to carry and no one else's hands would dare sully Patroclus with their dirty hands. As the body was laid all gathered around to hear the final words, "This is the body of the greatest among men. This is the body of my flesh, my blood, and my sweat. Here lies the sin of Hector. Here lies Patroclus. Tomorrow will be the last sunrise Hector shall see for tomorrow is the day I drench his blood on his own land. Tomorrow is the day I show Hector what it means to be a Myrmidon, what it means to be a Greek! Tomorrow I will show Hector why it is men fear my name. He will regret the day he ever unsheathed his sword. Hector is mine!"

There was a loud cheer among the men but it was all hollow to Achilles. He held up his hands for silence and the hush fell among the men immediately. Eudorus approached cautiously with the lit torch. Achilles took it without a word. He had nothing else to say. This was it. The moment. He took a brief moment to collect himself before he threw it on Patroclus. His heart ached and cried. He wanted to fall to his knees and weep, but he couldn't. All eyes were on him and he knew he couldn't show them what was in his heart.

A heart they all thought he lacked….

He yearned to just fall to his knees, yell out to the gods, and beat senselessly at Patroclus' body till he awakened, but all he did was stand there and watch the flames engulf the body of his Patroclus. It was the hardest thing to watch. The still, unmoving, cold, emotionless body of a once spirited and blithe young Patroclus. This was now his living Hell…this was his punishment for all his sins. The gods saw fit to show him an escape to paradise and then take it away.

Agamemnon smiled, "That boy has just won this war for us."

He had won and he knew it. There was no way Achilles would not be fighting anymore. With his bruised ego and the need to placate his narcissism, Agamemnon would have Achilles back in this war. He would win this yet.

All Odysseus could do was look at the cruel enjoyment Agamemnon was getting from Achilles pain. He had to say something, so after a long pause he started to say, "Do you not think-"

"Don't speak it, Odysseus, I know you care for Achilles, but he needed this kick into the mud. The gods have done well and they have spoken. They want me to win this war," and with that being said he turned back around to go to his camp.

Odysseus began to follow to say, "Do you not mean 'for Greece'?"

Agamemnon stopped and smiled over his shoulder, "Ah yes, for Greece."

Back with Achilles

The people had left to their camps and Achilles was left at the pyre with Eudorus and Briseis standing near. When he finally made the move to leave, it was they who followed. Achilles stopped and said emptily, "Leave me."

Eudorus obeyed with a swift bow and walked off, but Briseis stayed. Achilles raised a lip and sneered at her, "Are you now deaf as well, Apollo's whore?"

Tears and sorrow filled in Briseis' eyes, "Achilles, please, let me come to you. Let me comfort you. I wish to help console you."

Bang! Achilles snapped. He was on her, growling in her face as they stood nose to nose, "Do not speak of consolation when it is I who have just gave the burial rights to the only person who could console me right now! Now go!" he raised his hand, but there was no need. Briseis had left crying.

Achilles began to sulk back to his tent once more. Crying…oh the idea…to truly cry and not just shed meaningless tears. What was it like to let all the grief out? Would it hurt? Would it be opening a vein he could not do? Or would it make it all go away?

He reached his tent, opened the flap, grabbed a bottle of wine, and began to lose himself in it. He would let it out. He would cry. He would grieve…

Before he knew the tears began to flow uncontrollably. He thought of Patroclus, of his potential, of how he had died, thought of those final angry words spoken between them. The pain and the grief all of hit him harder than any sword ever could. He had wronged him. Wronged the very person who had only done him right. The truth of it hurt and it choked him. In the quiet, empty and stillness of his solitude…Achilles wept.

To be continued


	12. Chapter 12

Author PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Sooooooo sorry about the long wait, but I have the remaining chapters done. I will be posting all of them tonight or tomorrow. I wanted to do this one ahead so you all knew. Again, I apologize for the loooooooong wait. Buuuut without further adieu here we go.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Troy" characters.

With his tears shed, Achilles fled from the confining shackled of his hut. The grief still lingered in the air with the sense of death. He was finished with all of this. No more would he stand for all that had occurred. A numbness settled around his heart like a plague.

Today Hector would die.

As he passed through the flap he spotted Eudorus asleep in the sleep, waiting. The man had stood vigil for him. It was to be commendable…if Achilles had it in him to commend anyone at present.

His feet sank into the sand with every step he took towards the pyre. There he stood and waited as the sun arose at his back. Patroclus would have his vindication on this morning.

Achilles closed his eyes as the presence of Patroclus surrounded him in a gentle wind. He was here. Achilles could feel it with every fiber of his being.

Although as he opened his eyes, he was alone. There was no mistaking it. Patroclus was here but he was not. _Why do you abandon me, cousin, on the morning I need you the most?_

Achilles swallowed the bile rising up from his soul and stalked back to his hut. His mission was clear and doubt was nowhere in sight.

"Eudorus."

The man stirred awake and struggled with sleep to stand, "My lord?"

Achilles did not even bother to cast him a second look as he made his way to prepare, "I need my armor."

The idea that the hut would be clear from all the death and grief was a fool's hope. And Achilles was no fool.

Not today.

As he dressed in his armor he welcomed all the darkness that lingered around him. It was all a reminder of what it was he was about to fight for. With each piece of armor, his resolve grew stronger and his hatred of Hector became unbearable.

In every fight Achilles held himself back. He toyed with his victims, but not today. Today he would unleash everything Ares and Hades had gifted him with. Today Hector would know the frightening truth behind what Achilles truly was.

The sun greeted him with a blinding light as he stepped out onto the Trojan beaches. Not too long ago these sands had held the happy footsteps of his beloved Patroclus. He swallowed deep as he remembered that happy smile running towards him after that first victory.

No more would the gods grant him that happiness. Achilles was alone in this world and unlike his Patroclus this was his own choice.

He stepped into the chariot where Eudorus attempted to join him. Achilles barely looked at him as he simply said, "No."

Eudorus attempted to hide any of his apprehension and hurt at being refused, but both of them knew Achilles wouldn't have cared regardless.

He was just about to snap the horses in gear when a woman's scream pierced the morning air. Her steps were heavy and quick as she raced towards him. Her touch left him cold as a statue as she pleaded, "Hector's my cousin. He is a good man. Don't fight him! Please don't fight him. Please!"

The woman was nothing to him now, so her words fell on deaf ears as he snapped the reins and went on about his duty.

Patroclus had made Achilles human and Achilles had let him down. He had vowed to protect him. There on the boat he had made both of them a promise. A promise he had failed with the help of one Hector of Troy.

As of last night by the pyre, Achilles had made a new promise. A promise that he would erase Hector of Troy from every eyes and heart of every citizen of all of Greece. No one would know him and Hector's death would be so filled with regret and fear that his soul would never find peace in Tartarus.

This was his new vow and it was one that Achilles would go to his grave fulfilling.

He rode behind two black horses on his chariot and a strange of rightness settled around Achilles. These two black horses carried the chariot of death. With each plodded hoof fall Achilles heart beat stronger and stronger as anger brewed inside of him. Vindication was slowly turning into rage as he quickly approached the gates of Troy.

There he stood alone before the monstrous city. His voice was hoarse with fury as his chest heaved into the still, empty air. He could feel the entire city's eyes upon, but Achilles cared not. Let them point their arrows. Today he would have his blood.

He would hear Hector scream for mercy while Achilles made sure the only response he was to get was to be Patroclus' name. Hector would go to the underworld and the other souls he had sent there would tell him of the fool he was for killing the cousin of Achilles.

Hector would never know peace, not even death. Achilles would make sure of it.

After what felt like a lifetime of yelling his opponent's name, the gates to the great city opened and there they revealed his adversary. Achilles sneered at the sight of him. He held off his fury for a few more moments as Hector approached. He would let himself lose control in a moment.

For now…for now he had the sense to know what he needed to say and do.

Hector did not give Achilles the chance to speak first. As soon as the man approached, he poisoned the air and Achilles control with his voice as he said, "I have seen this moment in my dreams, Achilles. I'll make a pact with you and with the gods as our witnesses. Let us agree that the winner will allow the loser have all the proper funeral rituals."

_Fool…_

Achilles kept his gaze dead as his lips slightly curled with a hunger for this pompous ass' blood. He would bleed him dry. Achilles voice was even as he spat in Hector's scared face, "There are no pacts between lions and men."

It was clear to both of them who would live and who would die. Hector had sealed his fate before the first drop of Patroclus' blood had touched the ground.

Thoughts of his cousin's body drifted into his psyche once more and Achilles found his control about to break. His muscles tightened as his jaw ticked as he stabbed his spear into the ground. Blonde hair whipped gently in the wind caused by how fast he ripped his helmet off. Achilles stared back at Hector as he growled, "Now you know who you are fighting."

His white teeth glimmered and his mouth salivated as the sand begged for Hector's blood. The more he studied this man's face the more Achilles agreed. This man needed to die.

Anger flitted across Hector's face as he prepared himself for battle and tossed aside his own helmet, "I thought it was you I was fighting yesterday. And I wish it had been you. But I gave the dead boy the honor he deserved."

The dead boy?

Every part of his body was boiling with rage. At any moment, Achilles thought his stomach would reach it's limit and he would began to spew fire. Yet still he remained calm and how he did not know.

Hearing Hector's pitiful excuses and hearing him reference his beloved Patroclus as simply and easily as 'the dead boy' was almost too much for him to bear.

But bear it he did.

Only his eyes screamed of his ever burning rage as he replied back to Hector, "You gave him the honor of your sword." _far worse than he deserved_ "You won't have eyes tonight. You won't have ears or a tongue. You will wander the underworld blind, deaf, and dumb, so all the dead will know…this is Hector, the fool who thought he killed Achilles."

And that was it. Everything that needed to be said was said. Achilles almost smiled as he turned to a lion made from fire and born of vengeance. The fight exploded as he startled his onslaught of what soon would be the once Prince Hector.

His vision became blurry and his muscles tightened as his sense and reason escaped him. Achilles anger and fury was fueling this fight. It was as though he was channeling the god Ares himself.

Achilles blacked out as his mind checked out so his body took over. This was one fight Achilles was not going to play with him enemy. Hector would get the beating of all the grief and anger Achilles felt.

As his vision left him and the monster took control, Achilles blacked out so the first thing he blinked back to was Hector crawling away from him panting and sweating as he scrambled for breath and a weapon.

This was too easy. Achilles sneered as he watched him squirm away, "Get up, Prince of Troy. Get up! I won't let a stone take my glory." _or my vengeance_…

Once again the battle was underway as Achilles dodged both of Hector's swings with ease and immediately turned his dodges into a full blown swing to Hector's right leg. The mighty prince yelped as he tried to continuing swinging.

Their swords rang into the heat of the day as Hector tried to take Achilles' leg out as well, but in this moment Achilles smiled as he raised his leg to dodge.

Not today Hector, today is for Patroclus.

After a few breaths, Hector charged him once more, but the fight was so close to over. It was beading down every inch of Hector's face. Achilles dodged every one of his attacks without a sweat. His hand reached out pushed Hector back, so to watch the man stumble and groan with fatigue and loss of blood.

Finally it was drawing to a close. Achilles fed off the man's pain and despair. It was time to finish this. In a few swings Achilles had his opening. With a quick blow his spear stabbed through Hector's right shoulder with a force all its own behind it.

Hector grimaced and tightened as the pain burned to the rest of his chest.

A smile and sneer tugged at Achilles' lips as he reveled in the destruction of this odious man. Hector fell to his knees before Achilles and the moment was sweet.

Achilles glanced up at the eyes staring at Hector with grief already filling them. _That is right, feel what I have felt. Watch him suffer._ The moment was long for them, but far too short for Achilles. He looked back to Hector and pulled back to deliver the final blow to the gasping man's heart. A breath left him as he stabbed it straight and true. He killed the man through his heart, just as Hector had done to him.

A heart for a heart.

There was always more though. Pride clouded Achilles judgment as he reached for the rope in his chariot. It was not as simple as becoming even to Achilles. He would forever make Hector pay. His body would receive it's proper burial. It would serve as a reminder to all who laid eyes upon it.

Mercy was dead, humanity was gone, and Achilles was no longer a man.

With that he rode off with all of Troy's eyes upon him. He wanted them to see just how far their fool prince had fallen.

~*~*That night*~*~

He sat there sharpening his sword with her eyes upon him and her wretched sniffles in her ears. He was weary of her. No matter how cold he grew towards her, she still lingered.

Women were all alike weak and fickle creatures who would cower behind any who could protect them. How wrong he had been. He thought he loved this trembling creature who thought she had all the answers. His Patroclus never cowered. He was brave and strong despite any of the hardships and torment Achilles through his way.

How had he repaid him? With more torment.

Patroclus had truly served him well.

Now he was a shell, a mere-

Her voice broke his concentration, "You have lost your cousin and now you have taken mine. When does it end?"

Achilles did not even bother with giving her any sort of care or true response as he muttered, "It never ends."

With that she stormed out.

Achilles didn't care. He cared about nothing at this present. He had done his duty to Patroclus and to himself. So now he would either fight or die. He cared not about the future. For him it was just another sunrise he had to remain in this dark and ugly world.

His eyes closed as he paused in taking his sword, "Come back to me, spirit…"

Nothingness greeted him into the night as his plea was met with further silence. Patroclus was gone now. He had said it himself. He was meant to keep Achilles on path. To kill Hector and so he had.

That meant saying goodbye to even the last remaining shreds of Patroclus then so be it. In the moonlight he spotted the last piece of what remained of Patroclus glittering in the moonlight.

So he stalked over to his bed and held tight to the delicate piece of jewelry. More grief and more pain. Was this what humanity was? How could all that good the lad brought into his life hurt this much after?

Before he could begin to drown his sorrows into another pitcher a cloaked figure entered his hut. An old man pushed back his hood to reveal himself.

Achilles watched transfixed as he fell to his knees before him and kissed each of his hands. Tears still lingered in the old man's eyes as Achilles recognized the pain that lingered there.

He tried to keep his voice harsh, but the sympathy eased it some as he asked, "Who are you?"

The man's eye continued to sparkle with tears and moonlight, "I have endured what no man on earth has endured. I kiss the hands of the man who killed my son."

Confused understanding hit Achilles as he stared back at this man in a hazy clarity. He rose to his feet and stepped away as the man's grief kept his hatred at bay. Those eyes showed everything that was in Achilles' own soul at present. They understood and yet still he had kissed his hands, "Priam? How did you get in here?"

The man remained on his knees while he explained, "I know my own country better than the Greeks I think."

In this moment, he could not hate him or begrudge him. Till he gave him reason otherwise, Achilles would show him respect. He helped him to his feet and complimented, "You are a brave man. I could have you head on a spit in the blink of an eye."

Achilles took a seat as the two of them eyed each other curiously. Neither one sure of what to make or do with each other. Priam's voice shook as he stared incredulously at Achilles, "You really think death frightens me now? I watched my eldest son die while you dragged his body behind your chariot. Give him back to me. He deserves the honor of a proper burial. Give him to me."

Life was not that simple. Not anymore.

Achilles met Priam's gaze without hesitation in the dark while he said with greater conviction than ever before, "He killed my cousin."

Still the old man did not back down. The wisdom of his years and the love of his son adding to his own quiet fire, "He thought he was you. How many cousins have you killed? How many sons and fathers, brothers, husbands, how many, brave Achilles?"

The rest of the old man's words faded as a warmth seized his hand. It was as though someone was holding his hand. When he looked down there was just his hand. His face contorted in a pained confusion as he struggled with the hope there was someone there and not just a spasm. Still the light pressure holding his hand continued.

Priam sat on the bed next to him as another strong pressure squeezed the back of his neck just as he had done so many times before to Patroclus. It was there own private form of affection. Achilles struggled to cope with these as his focus look forward.

Patroclus was here.

He could not see him, but he could feel him. There was no mistaking it.

Finally, Achilles caught the rest of Priam's lecture. He knew how it must look to Priam, but maybe the old man would just think Achilles was struggling with his words and not some unseen apparition. The last think Achilles heard was Priam say, "Let me wash his body. Let me say the prayers. Let me place two coins on his eyes for the boatman."

It was clear was Patroclus wanted Achilles to do. He was giving him support to do the right thing. He was urging him to let go of the hatred and give in to a father's request. The warmth surged up Achilles' arm and neck as the feel of hands upon them did not cease. He took a moment to feel the hand on his hand, to feel that gentle rub to his neck, to feel the once overpowering support once more of his dearest Patroclus.

His gaze stared into the night with them giving him just enough support to help Achilles say, "If I let you walk out of here, if I let you take him, doesn't change anything you are still my enemy in the morning."

To Be Continued…


	13. Chapter 13

Author PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: The final chapter before the epilogue…bumbumBUM! I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Troy" characters.

He stood over the mutilated corpse of Hector and spat into the sand, "I am giving you more than you deserve, Hector. I do this out of respect for your father and for care of Patroclus. I do not do it for you."

"No, but you should do it for you."

Achilles looked up to the concerned smirk of Patroclus standing across the body from him. Achilles fell to his knees and kept his gaze on his cousin, "You have returned once again? For how long this time?"

Patroclus reached out but hesitated, "I am sorry you are angry with me, Achilles."

The fist of the golden man pounded once into the chest of a bloodied and sand-covered Hector, "I have done this for you! I killed this man in your name. I desecrated his body so all would know. I am giving him back for your peace! Do not think I am angry with you. I am angry with everyone but you. The gods, Agamemnon, Briseis, Eudorus, my mother, Hector, ev-"

"Including yourself."

Achilles silences as he saw Patroclus youth return to him once more with concern etched in every corner of that young face. He continued as he kneeled down to meet Achilles eye for eye, "I cannot be the reason you die a little more with every sunrise and sunset. You are making a murderer of me, Achilles."

Achilles reached across the body to grab Patroclus' neck lovingly, but the boy shrugged away before any contact could be made. His voice was strong, but Patroclus could hear the pain lingering there, "I told you. You were my last remaining shred of humanity."

Patroclus shook his head, "Someone cannot be your humanity, but instead they can teach it to you. If that is what I did, then remember that lesson, Achilles."

Achilles narrowed his eyes at the young man, "I am supposed to be your master and king, not you mine."

Patroclus narrowed his eyes right back at him, "I am supposed to be a child in your eyes? Then why would you want me to see you do this?"

Achilles followed Patroclus' gaze as well as the ghost's trembling finger. For the first time he saw what he had done through that boy's eyes. He saw what he committed in his good name.

So many times he had said that Patroclus was the last truly good thing in this world and yet he commited such a hideous crime in that good's name.

For the first time Achilles made himself sick, "I am sorry, Patroclus." but the words were said to an empty night. Once again the boy was gone.

Moments passed as Achilles kneeled before the body of his fallen foe. He had done this. How low he had fallen. The worst part was everyone saw the evil of it, everyone saw it and they tried to save him, but still Achilles cared not. It took the one person in this he could truly live for to make him realize what a monster he had become.

Achilles tried to cover up the corpse, but as he did so his eyes grew hot and heavy. They felt as though someone was squeezing them of their very juices.

More tears.

Achilles grew tired of this show of emotion. He wanted it to end. Everything to come to an end. He was sorry for what he had done to Hector. He had sought his vengeance and that should have been that, but instead he turned into a creature more vile than Agamemnon himself. What was this monster he had become? His soul cried for forgiveness to Hector's as his tears washed the man's body. He deserved better.

Hector had given that much to Patroclus.

Once the tears had passed, Achilles finished wrapping Hector's body as he breathed the silent prayer, "We'll meet again soon, my brother."

With all those tidings and evils shed out it was time to make everything right for the sake of his soul. That was what Patroclus wanted of him. The boy had wanted him to walk in the light even without him there by his side. This would be harder than any fight Achilles had encountered.

He met up with Priam and the corpse strapped to a chariot ready to exit. As he met the met look for look he found the proper words escaped him. Finally he took a breath and admitted shamefully, "You're son was the best that I fought. In my country the funeral lasts for twelve days."

Gratitude shown in the enemy king's eyes, "It is the same in my country."

Achilles nodded to him as the banter seemed light volumes passed between them and they both knew it, "Then the prince will have that honor. No Greek will attack Troy for twelve days."

Silent gratitude beyond words quivered the proud king's lips as Briseis ran towards them. Achilles let out a breath as he knew one more loose end he had to right.

He looked on with a weight lifting off his shoulders just as Atlas must feel as the two greeted each other with tears and relief.

It was time to make matters right with Briseis. For a shining moment he had thought he had loved the girl, but when matters grew dark the truth was slapped back in his face. He had trifled with her heart and he did not know if he could ever make her understand, but it was time.

He had to try.

It was time to do something now that he should have done before it was too late for Patroclus.

As she approached him, Achilles went through all he should say, but decided on a need to speak basis. No need to muddle anything with useless, pretty words.

It was simple as, "You're free. If I hurt you…" the rest of that sentence died off as he struggled for the right thing to say. She had to know she wasn't what he wanted that, "…it wasn't what I wanted…"

When more of the proper words escaped him, he decided on something as right as giving her the necklace. Did she know it was the same necklace his mother gave him? Did she know that it reminded him of home? Or did she know that home was everything he loved about Patroclus?

That necklace was everything he loved about his memories of home and Patroclus. Since she lost to the memory of him, it only seemed justified she leave now with that necklace.

Her hand covered his and wordlessly the message passed between them. Briseis understood.

It was over.

More words passed as he watched the king and his niece ride off into the night and Achilles was not sorry. He had done what was right and he knew he had relearned the lesson that Patroclus had taught him. His heart was still dead, but his mind could still grant humanity. He was still stone inside, but this way he was a statue with mercy.

~*~*Eleven Days Later*~*~

Odysseus sat across from Achilles before the fire as the rest of the men left them alone to sleep for the night. The world seemed peaceful. It was hard to believe tomorrow there would be bloodshed beyond compare.

It was a brilliant, yet cowardly, plan Achilles had to admit. When Odysseus cleared his throat, Achilles continued to stare at the flames. Eventually he ignored Achilles' not too subtle hints and said, "I have yet to figure out why you stay."

Achilles shrugged and was not going to say a word, but decided to open up to a man who had proved to want nothing more than friendship. He looked up at him and said, "It was something Patroclus said to me before he died. He said 'soldiers obey' as if the world was as simple as that foolish notion."

Odysseus smiled, but did not laugh, "Isn't it? I may not agree with Agamemnon, but he is still king."

Achilles shook his head, "I did not come here for Agamemnon. I came here because of you. You were one of very few I respect enough to call friend. So in this I follow you. I made a promise coming here to Troy with you. While I will not endanger my men for a fool king's bloody cause, I will take up my sword and obey you as a soldier should."

Now Odysseus laughed as he moved to clap Achilles' back, "Good to see even the invincible Achilles can learn something now and then."

Silence descended upon them again as Odysseus looked about. His voice became low and conspiring, "Achilles, this battle tomorrow is going to be a bloodshed. Agamemnon will burn down all of Troy before he is complete."

Achilles nodded at the obvious, "Of course, is war any other way."

Odysseus became even quieter, "What of your Briseis? I will look the other way if you need to find her. No one will think twice over your absence."

Achilles shook his head, "She is not my Briseis. Let the girl escape with the rest of that family."

Odysseus quirked an eyebrow, "Did she really mean so little to you to be cast to the wolves so easy? Agamemnon will go after her as soon as he has Priam's head. Will you leave her to that fate? To Priam?"

While he did not love the girl, Achilles knew he could not so easily hand her over to the will of Priam's definition of mercy either.

~*~*Next Night, Night of the Siege Upon Troy*~*~

The giant Trojan Horse quietly fell away as men sprung forth from it as Athena from Zeus. Achilles was like a demon as he searched the burning city for Briseis. Screams from women and children drowned out his voice as he yelled her name. There was never a reply.

Finally he found on the rooftops of the city. There she stood with Agamemnon harassing her. He was almost too late. As he ran to her aid, the brave girl stabbed Agamemnon in his throat only to captured by more soldiers.

He didn't know whether to congratulate or chastise her. She had to have known that would never buy herself some freedom. Alas Achilles stepped in and slew both her opponents just as he was about to help her to her feet a sharp pain tore threw his ankle and stole his very breath away.

His eyes grew wide and he hardly heard he scream as he rose to charge at that insipid boy prince. He barely took another step before another arrow pierced just below his rib cage.

It was the first time another dared to draw blood from him in such a way. His mother's words ran threw his mind and Achilles refused to let it end here by that man. He ripped out the arrow and continued charging Paris. Briseis ran ahead of him towards her cousin, but her words were lost as Achilles took three more arrows to the chest.

The world tilted under his feet as Achilles fought to stand. A light grew in the dark as Achilles eyes grew large. Through the blinding light Patroclus came. He walked from behind Paris and moved to stand just behind Briseis.

This was the end.

Pain choked at Achilles, but still a warmth grew in his heart as Patroclus' bittersweet smile approached him. If this was the end then it was beautiful. He fell to his knees before Patroclus and continued to pant through the pain.

So this was death.

The greatest foe he had eluded all these years was ransacking his body, but Achilles cared not. He would not die alone. Patroclus was here. He was by his side.

The sounds of Briseis crying and the city screaming was a mere mumble as the two men locked eyes.

Patroclus kneeled before him and whispered, "Take the arrow out."

Achilles stared down at the wound and broke it off. He shuddered from the pain. He saw Briseis running towards them, but he did not want her to break up this beautiful death. He wanted Patroclus' face to be the last. Not her.

But just as she kneeled into Patroclus, it seemed her body took on his spirit. It was still Patroclus kneeling before him, but this time he was solid. Achilles knew for the first time he could reach out and touch him.

Paris would see him touching Briseis and Briseis would think it was all intended for her, but they would know. Patroclus and Achilles would know the truth of it.

His hands shook as they held that face. They could not believe how good it felt. Illusion or no, it was still paradise to die touching him one last time.

A smile crossed Achilles face as tears pooled in Patroclus' eyes. The boy's face was contorted as he whimpered, "I cannot feel it Achilles. It is her body, not mine. I cannot feel and yet I do not want you to let go. Do not die. Fight, cousin! I cannot see you this way."

Achilles smile was fainter, but his heart skipped with every touch. It was nice to see him, to touch him, one last time. Achilles would go to Tartarus and Patroclus onto the Elysian Fields. Forever apart for eternity, but this moment was worth it. To die touching him one last time, this was the gods granting him a little peace. His voice was faint and sweet, "Its all right, its all right."

An unabashed tear streaked down Patroclus' face as he muttered, "I want to help you, Achilles."

Achilles fell forward and grabbed some of those straight brown locks of Patroclus. His nose breathed in the scent, but his nose only smelled her. His mind reminded though. His mind ignored what his nose smelled and let memory take control. His memory pushed aside reason and let Patroclus' scent be the one he truly smelled.

He lay his head on his head and sighed a contented sigh. This moment, it was this final moment that would carry him through his dark days on the River Styx. They could punish him for all eternity, but he would relive dying in Patroclus' arms for all of it.

The boy held back his tears as he longed to feel Achilles. It was not fair! Patroclus knew Briseis was feeling every last bit of this, but he wanted it. He wanted to feel Achilles arm, to feel his touch, but he was lucky they were granted this last passage.

Watching die was a pain Patroclus had not intended. If was not already dead, he was sure this would be the end of him. His voice broke as he struggled to speak, "I have given you nothing to what you have given me."

"You gave me peace in a lifetime of war."

Those faithful words touched Patroclus to his core. To know he gave something back to the man he admired, cherished, and loved more than any his lifetime was a gift Patroclus would take with him wherever he ended up in the afterlife.

Both their hands clung to the others face as they never let go. Patroclus whispered into the night for only Achilles ears, "I knew it would kill me to watch you die, but I never imagined this."

Achilles stared deep into those eyes and saw everything he had felt. The grief, the torture, the torment, the guilt; the only difference was…was that Patroclus was having to watch him die.

That was a nightmare Achilles never had to endure. He knew what he had to do. As much as he wanted his spirit there while he died, Achilles knew the boy deserved his peace. He had already done so much, even in death. His words were filled with emotions he could not muster himself to say. One simple word filled with love and sacrifice, "Go."

He placed one last kiss to Patroclus lips. The taste that filled his mouth was sweet and feminine. The scent was that of flowers, fabric, and pampering. The taste was salty and masculine. The scent lacked that intoxicating odor of the open air, sandalwood, and innocence.

All his senses told him it was Briseis he caressed and it was Briseis he spoke sweet words too. But his eyes, his hands, his memories, and his soul would only let him see the spirit of Patroclus kneeling before him.

It was the lad's despairing eyes and desperate words of, "I will not let you die alone."

He smiled painstakingly to that distressed face, "You must…"

Patroclus' face grew indignant and stubborn as his will steeled, "No! If the Trojans capture your body-"

"Troy has fallen. Go."

Patroclus shook his head with his lip quivering showing him to be so young once more, "You do not leave the one you love most of all to die on his own."

Stared at those tempting lips and pleading eyes of Patroclus, "Its all right. Go."

If only the boy knew how much he hated him having to see him this way. He was supposed to be his hero and yet here he kneeled the fallen Achilles…dying…

Once more, Patroclus stammered, "But, Achilles-"

His last plea was soft and spoke volumes, "Go."

The fight faded from Patroclus as he nodded and kissed Achilles forehead. When the lad stood he left the sight of Briseis crying before Achilles. The shock and emptiness almost took Achilles right there.

It was clear the woman thought that whole charade was for her. If only she knew. If only she knew the apparation she once saw had spoken the sweet final words to him instead of she.

It was Patroclus he kissed, not her.

Oh well, she was fleeing as it was anyhow. He was only finally in that rooftop courtyard. A solitary tear rolled down his cheek as he could finally die without his poor Patroclus to having to watch.

Blackness closed in around him and a final thought rolled through his aching mind, _Thank you for granting him into my final moments._

With that the great Achilles let himself sink into the abyss. Be it Tartarus or the Elysian Fields…

To be continued…


	14. Epilogue

Author PenName: Dysis Nyx

Author's Note: Well there it is. The final moments of the story. I have enjoyed writing it and it feels good to be done with it finally. Thank you for reading.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the "Troy" characters.

Blackness surrounded his closed lids as Achilles awoke to birds chirping and a gentle breeze blowing across his face. Warm bread and the sea greeted his nostrils as he breathed deep.

He opened his eyes to a small cottage fit for a king. It was small and modest, yet opulent and comfortable. Where was he? Was this Tartarus?

He had died.

There was no mistaking all he had felt. The pain, the dark, the abyss. All of it was so real. Those final moments with Patroclus. His goodbye to his one true love.

He had said goodbye what kind of sick jest of the gods was this? He was not supposed to survive.

Achilles swung his legs over the side of the bed. He was dressed, but was not wearing his armor. He was wearing casual clothes of the softest material. Someone must have brought him here.

Whoever it was was going to pay for cursing him to live. He stalked about the cottage looking for some clues, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

Finally, Achilles approached the door. The wooden hinges creaked as he threw it open. As he was about to walk out he realized, his ankle was neither stiff nor in pain. Was he dead or was whoever saved him truly a skilled healer.

He looked up to greet the outside world before him.

His blinked against the sun as they fought to adjust clouds lazily rolled across the sky and Achilles greeted a sight of dreams before him. As far as the eye could see fields of lavender stretched endlessly from every direction. Rolling hills of purple and green greeted his every turn.

There was only one break from it. A single, tall, wide, and dreamy willow tree grew stretching its billowy and weeping branches for all to see. Achilles stopped dead as a figure leaned haplessly under the tree.

From this distance there was no telling who it was, but the body language spoke volumes. At once his feet started slowly as if still in a dream.

He was so tentative, so dazed. His pace grew with every step towards this mysterious figure. His heart hammered in his chest and he could taste the hope rising from the pits of his stomach.

The pace increased as his heart hammered on. Soon he was at a full run till he stopped dead in his tracks before the great willow. His hands, cleaned of all blood, pushed aside some of the overhanging branches and he stepped below the tree.

The figure turned from its post and gave a large white toothed grin, "I thought you would never wake up, Achilles."

Achilles swallowed hard, "Patroclus…"

The lad threw himself into Achilles' embrace and they held on tighter than Achilles had ever imagined. These were the arms, this was the scent, this was the right body holding him. Achilles smiled as for the first time in a long time, he held his Patroclus.

He pulled him back only long enough to grab the sides of his face and give him a real kiss. Not a kiss with a false body or when hidden behind closed doors in the hush of night, but a kiss the lad deserved.

There foreheads touched as they panted for breath. Achilles stroked his hair and smiled with the joy he felt. It was a pure joy and a joy he never thought he would be allowed.

But the moment passed as he pulled back to ask, "I take it we are dead and I have been blessed to spend my eternity with you in the Elysian Fields?"

Patroclus shrugged, "Your guess is as good as mine. Dead or alive. I woke up with you so nothing else matters."

Achilles playfully nudged him and ruffled his hair before holding him in a side embrace by the shoulders, "We have questions we need to find out. I would for one like to know if I am alive or not."

Patroclus smiled, "Can that not wait for tomorrow?" he pulled out two wooden swords from the corner of the tree, "I thought we could just enjoy the day today."

For the first time in his life, Achilles was willing to let all the responsibility, all the stoicism, all the legend of Achilles just fade away for a day.

Today was about this. It was about what lay here and now. Leave tomorrow for the bigger questions. Today was about Patroclus.

He grabbed the practice sword and teased, "I will not go easy on you, cousin."

Patroclus smiled from ear to ear with his eyes glowing, "I would not have it any other way, Achilles."

The End


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